All My Friends Are Superheroes Read Online Free PDF Page A

didn’t think his girlfriend finding it funny was funny. He hypnotized everybody in the room to forget Tom’s name. He tried to hypnotize Tom into wanting to go home and discoveredthat he couldn’t – Tom is the only person Hypno has never been able to hypnotize.
    Even though she couldn’t remember his name, the Perfectionist still spent the whole night talking with him.
    ‘What’s your name again?’ she kept asking him.
    ‘It’s Tom,’ Tom kept saying.
    ‘Right. That’s right,’ she’d say. She’d immediately forget it. She forgot Tom’s name eighteen times over the course of the evening.

    THE FROG-KISSER
    The Frog-Kisser was in high school when she first discovered her power. Dating the captain of the football team had left her drained and unfulfilled. That’s when she discovered Brian, the head of the debating club, and her latent powers emerged.
    Blessed with the ability to transform geeks into winners, she is cursed with the reality that once she enables this transformation, the origin of her initial attraction is gone.
    FIFTH BUSINESS
    Fifth Business picks a new subject every three years. His current subject could be you and you wouldn’t even know it. Fifth Business is invisible.
    If you are his subject he’s spent the last three years watching you bathe, dress, cook, fight, caress and have moments of doubt. He’s made notes while watching you watch TV , brush your teeth, burst into tears, get hired, fired and tired.
    He knows everything about you. He knows the one thing that needs to happen so you can fulfill your dreams. He knows the single event that would trigger your downfall. And he’s deciding, right now, which one he’ll make happen.
    THE SEEKER
    The Seeker knows how to get anywhere from any place, even if he’s never been there before. But since this is his superpower and he defines himself through it, the Seekergets quite upset and fidgety whenever he reaches a destination. He has to immediately turn around and head somewhere else.
    THE PROJECTIONIST
    The Projectionist can make you believe whatever she believes. If she believes interest rates are going to fall, and you have a short conversation with the Projectionist, you will too. If she believes that, no, in fact, you didn’t signal when you turned left, causing the Projectionist to ram her car into the back of yours, so will you.
    Her downfall began when she fell in love with the Inverse. She absolutely, 100% fell in love with the Inverse. She projected all this emotion onto him but the Inverse, being the Inverse, simply reflected the opposite of everything she was sending.
    Strangely, neither the Inverse nor the Projectionist can let go of the relationship.
    THE CHIP
    Chip was born with a chip on her shoulder. It’s an immensely heavy chip, a chip that weighs so much it forced her to develop superhuman strength. But the chip on Chip’s shoulder weighs so much that only her superstrength could remove it, but she can’t use her superstrength until she gets rid of the chip and she can’t get rid of the chip without using her super-strength. She appears no stronger than any regular.

EIGHT

THE FIRST NIGHT OF INVISIBILITY
    For three hours and forty-five minutes the Perfectionist stares at clouds. Tom stares at the Perfectionist. Now that she’s fallen asleep, Tom examines the cheese sandwich the airhostess handed him over the Prairies. Just east of the Rockies, Tom unwraps it and takes a bite. The bread tastes like plastic wrap. He sets the sandwich on the corner of his tray.
    The Perfectionist snores (perfectly). Tom knows he could nudge her and the snoring would stop. It’s what he used to do. But since he turned invisible Tom won’t touch the Perfectionist when she’s sleeping. He’s only tried it once, the first night they were married – the night he thought he’d killed her.
    He’d watched her step out of her wedding dress like it were a pile of snow. She left it on the floor and climbed directly under the covers.