All I Want For Christmas Is A Vampire Read Online Free PDF Page A

you asking me if I get PMS? Are you serious?”
    “Nay! I dinna mean—” Ian stopped, interrupted by Phineas’s laughter.
    “I know what you’re thinking, man, but she’s normal.”
    “Normal?” She glared at Phineas. “I nailed your ass earlier this evening.”
    Phineas held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t hurt me, sweetness. You’re a strong, beautiful hunk of woman.”
    She inclined her head. “Thank you.”
    “Connor told me on the phone that he’d hired a Tony,” Ian muttered. “I thought ye would be a man.”
    Her eyes narrowed. “I thought you would be somewhat intelligent.”
    “Snap!” Phineas grinned. “She got you good, bro.”
    Ian scowled. “It was perfectly logical to assume Tony was a man’s name.”
    She lifted her chin. “Is it logical to attack people without talking to them first?”
    “In this case, aye, it was. The window was open—”
    “I opened it,” she interrupted. “It was as stuffy as a tomb in here, and I was hot.”
    “Sweetness, you’re so hot, you’re sizzling.” Phineas made some hissing sounds.
    Ian shot him an annoyed look, then resumed his explanation. “The window sensor triggered the alarm, and when I investigated the matter, I found you looking at verra expensive books, dressed like a cat burglar.”
    “Yeah, you do look like a hot and sexy Catwoman.” Phineas clawed at the air. “Meow! Hiss!”
    Now she gave Phineas an annoyed look. “These are my workout clothes.” She switched her green-eyed glare to Ian. “And I never heard an alarm.”
    “Only Vamps and dogs can hear it.”
    “Oh. Which one are you?”
    “Snap!” Phineas slapped his leg. “She’s killing you, man.”
    “Phineas,” Ian growled. “I’m trying to have a conversation here.” He turned to Toni. “I’m sorry, lass, but this will never work. Ye canna guard a houseful of men. Ye see how Phineas reacts to you.”
    “He’s a lot nicer than you are!” Her eyes glinted with anger. “And it’s not my problem if you’re a bunch of sexist pigs. I can do this job, with or without PMS. I beat Phineas earlier, and I would have pinned you down, too, given more time.”
    “Lass, ye would never pin me.” He leaned toward her. “I like to be on top.”
    Her eyes flashed with green fire.
    “Good one!” Phineas shook a fist in the air. “You’re making your comeback, bro. You da man!”
    “He’s a pig,” Toni grumbled.
    “Oink, oink,” Phineas squeaked.
    “Enough, Phineas!” Ian glowered at him. “I can see why ye were murdered young.”
    A laugh escaped from Toni, but she quickly squelched it and frowned at him.
    She had a sense of humor? It wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things, but Ian was suddenly taken with the challenge to make her laugh again, or at least make her smile. Unfortunately he couldn’t think of anything amusing to say.
    He rose to his feet and executed a gallant bow. “I apologize for attacking you. I hope I dinna hurt you.”
    Her frown relaxed slightly. “I’m okay.”
    He offered a hand to help her up.
    She regarded him suspiciously. “You’re not going to tell Connor to fire me, are you? I really can do this job.”
    An uneasy feeling settled in his gut. Why on earth would a lovely mortal woman want a job guarding vampires? “I’ll let ye stay if ye answer a few questions honestly.”
    A guarded look flitted over her face, then she smiled brightly and took his hand. “Sure. What do you want to know?” She rose gracefully to her feet.
    His hand tightened around hers. The uncertainty in his gut twinged. He knew she wasn’t going to be entirely honest. Her smile was too forced, and her heartbeat had just speeded up.
    “Why do ye want this job?” he asked quietly.
    She pulled her hand from his grasp. “It pays extremely well. And I get free room and board, which is worth a fortune in Manhattan.”
    “And ye get stuck in a house all day with some dead carcasses.”
    “No job is perfect.” She folded her arms