might be able to elucidate.
I shrug and say, âIâll look around when I take her to school tomorrow.â
Iâm ready for Tyler when I leave the apartment in the morning. I have a steak knife in my jacket pocket but no idea how to wield it. Fortunately, heâs sleeping in, as all suspended children should be.
Ally chatters about rodents the whole way to school, a stream of useless facts like, âMice have poor eyesight,â and âChipmunks nest underground.â She shuts up as we approach her school, pushes me away when I hug her goodbye.
I linger by the fence and chat with the eight-year-olds who rush up to me, make faces, tattle on their friends, ask who I am.
âHello, Max,â Xavier pants. He towers at my side, half-naked, as if he teleported from a gymnasium. He smells like raspberry crumble. âI ran five miles cross-country and now Iâm sprinting to school. Will you run with me?â
âIâm not allowed at school this week,â I remind him. He looks confused. I raise my swollen hands. âRemember how Tyler tried to waste you and I beat him down yesterday?â
âYes.â
âI got suspended for that.â
Four high school girls fall silent as they approach. They gawk at Xavier, whoâs wearing a pair of shorts that reach his knees, a pair of sneakers that reach his ankles, and nothing else except a sheen of sweat.
I give the girls a wink. They giggle and walk on, whispering and glancing back.
âYou should get to class,â I tell Xavier. I smile like itâs premium fun being suspended, then turn back to Allyâs schoolyard.
The first graders line up early again. Their ranks have swollen with a few dozen grade twos. Melissa stands near the front, staring at the closed doors. A supervisor walks the line, watching me where I lurk outside the fence. I wave and say, âHey!â She doesnât wave back.
The older kids play on the jungle gyms, run across the concrete, throw balls at the fence and try to scare me. When the bell rings, the sour-faced supervisor calls in the stragglers. âI canât wait till next week!â she shouts to another supervisor across the concrete. Ally looks my way but doesnât return my wave. The supervisors yell at her to get in line.
Where the youngest children wait near the doors, the lines are royally neat. No jostling, no hopping, not even pairs of girls holding hands. The line snakes out as it lengthens. The fourth graders at the back are toxic, switching places, yapping, pushing each other down. The supervisors yank on their arms to no effect.
Eventually everyone slithers inside, and Iâm left standing with my fingers threaded through the fence, staring at silent concrete. Xavier jogs on the spot beside me. âWhat are you still doing here?â I ask him. âYouâre going to be late for class.â
âWill you run with me?â he repeats.
I laugh. âI have to go home, Xavier. Iâm suspended for saving your life.â
Xavier can deconstruct my personal mythology faster than I can fabricate it. âI donât like you to fight,â he says. âI like you when youâre nice.â
Sometimes Xavier reminds me of Ally because heâs kind and innocent. But once in a while when heâs not speed-talkingâ because he looks so old and white and seriousâ he reminds me of my father. It saddens me and I donât know why.
âGo to school before youâre late,â I tell him. âI canât run with you today.â
âOkay. Bye, Max.â He sprints away, supremely fast and strong, out of sight in thirty seconds. If he could manage relationships and violence, Iâd recruit him into football.
Stray children rush past me, trying to get to school on time. Older teens and adults ride to work on bikes. I watch them for a while. Then I have to admit that I have nowhere to go but home.
âYou forgot to put the
Morten Storm, Paul Cruickshank, Tim Lister