Air Apparent Read Online Free PDF Page A

protested.
    “Plus a hungry moat monster,” he agreed. “So you had better not try.”
    “But I need to see the Good Magician.”
    “He doesn’t need to see you, honey. He doesn’t like to be bothered.”
    “I have to see him!” she wailed. “He’s the only one who can possibly help me.”
    Bernie looked at her with some compassion. “Look, honey, I have a daughter of my own. I never want to see her hurt. But I have a job to do here. This is a Challenge. I will not let you pass if I can help it.”
    A sympathetic Challenge. That struck her as unusual. Maybe she could learn something useful. So she talked with him. “How can you stand all these puns?”
    “I love puns! You ran afoul of some good ones.”
    “They were awful ones!”
    “Same thing, honey. The very best puns are the real stinkers. Let’s face it: the Land of Xanth is pretty much made of puns. If you can’t handle them, you don’t belong here.”
    He had a point. But this wasn’t getting her across the drawbridge. Maybe she could befriend him, and he would let her by after all. Or something. “What’s the best/worst pun you’ve seen, Bernie?”
    “That’s easy! It’s the Bombshell.”
    “The bombshell? I thought that was a pretty woman.”
    “It is, in Mundania. Here it’s an explosive shell. It can stun men just by its look, and when you throw it, it explodes and stuns everyone in the vicinity. I love it. But of course I’m a man; it wouldn’t have the same effect on you.”
    “I suppose not,” Debra agreed. “But isn’t a shell a cylinder with gunpowder in it, or dynamite?” She flinched inwardly, remembering the pun on that word she had recently passed. “What’s so special about that?”
    “It’s the shape of the shell, honey. Like the sexiest woman alive.”
    Oh. Debra gazed into the moat, trying to think of some other lead, as this one wasn’t working out.
    She saw the hourglass figure of a woman who was shapelier than Debra had ever dreamed of being. Yet it was a shell. Could it be?
    She reached into the water and lifted it out. “What do you think of this?” she asked, holding it up.
    Bernie stared. “That’s it! The Bombshell!”
    “This?” She turned it around so that it showed the plush bottom that revealed just a bit of panty.
    Bernie didn’t answer. She looked at him, and saw he was frozen in place, staring at the shell. He had freaked out! Now she remembered that the sight of women’s panties did that to men in Xanth, and maybe in Mundania too. As long as the figure was in view, he would remain in stasis. Men were like that; they just couldn’t take their eyes off something sexy.
    She had found the key to passing this Challenge. She set the bombshell carefully on the ground, taking care not to conceal any part of it. Bernie’s eyes followed it, locked on.
    She stepped away from the shell. Bernie didn’t move. She walked quietly around him and set foot on the draw-bridge. He did not react. She had found the way through, as much by luck as design. But of course the Challenges were designed to be solved; a person just had to be alert. She was glad she hadn’t had to throw the shell at him; its mere appearance was enough.
    Two Challenges done. One to go.
    She crossed the moat and came to the portcullis that guarded the castle entrance. The bars were raised, but she didn’t quite trust this: would the whole heavy thing come plunging down on her head if she walked under it?
    She poked one hand under, ready to yank it back. Nothing happened. So she nerved herself and jumped past, giving the thing no time to catch her.
    That turned out to be just as well, because the bars crashed down just behind her. Now she was locked inside the castle.
    Well, it was where she wanted to be. She looked around, and found herself in a short hall leading to a garden area. It was a pretty garden, with many trees, shrubs, paths, and pools. If this was a Challenge, it was a nice one. Of course she didn’t trust it. There would