Ain't No Sunshine Read Online Free PDF

the summer, Ruthie and I went swimming in our lake. One day, when I was thirteen, our innocent summer recreation became something more.
    I was sitting on the grass, taking a break, when she sauntered out of the water.  Suddenly, I saw her differently. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was still my best friend on the inside, but on the outside she had changed.  I finally noticed she was absolutely gorgeous. 
    "Are you coming back in the water?" she asked, completely unaware that I was undressing her with my eyes.  It wasn't difficult to do, considering the tiny yellow swimsuit she wore.  We were so close that we often overlooked modesty with each other.  At that moment, I mentally thanked whoever had created the bikini. 
    "Stephen?  Are you okay?"  I realized that I had missed her question because I was too busy staring at her breasts.  A flush came over me, and I felt a warm sensation all over my body, especially in my swim trunks.
    "Stephen, why are you all red? Are you sick?"  She went to touch my face.
    "No, don't touch me."  I jerked away from her hand.
    "What's wrong?  Did I do something?"  She was starting to worry.
    "No... uh ...yeah, I'm sick.  I just don't want you to catch it.  I think I better go home."  I went to stand up but realized that something was going on in my pants.  I sat back down and put a towel over my lap.  Oh my God, I had an erection. How could just looking at Ruthie evoke such a response? My face reddened even more at the thought of how badly I wanted her to touch me...to touch it.
    "I thought you were leaving," she said, looking at me like I was crazy.
    "I am.  I will…in a minute.  I...I think I want to watch the lake for a while, first," I lied.  All I wanted to watch was her and her soft, caramel skin.  Her sopping-wet hair hung down to the middle of her back, touching the little latch that kept her bathing suit top on.  I wanted that latch to break so badly.  I thought that maybe if I stared at it long enough it would, but it didn't.  Ruthie finally got tired of trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
    "Well, I'm going home.  Feel better, okay?"  She stood and walked away from me. I watched as a single drop of water rolled down her back and over the swell of her butt. It was the luckiest drop of water I had ever seen in my life.
    That day, I distinctly remember missing Matthew more than usual. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him or wonder what he would look like at a certain age. Sometimes I would momentarily forget the sound of his voice or what he was like. I'd try to talk about him to my mother, but she would usually just start crying and leave the room.
    I knew if Matthew were there, I'd be able to talk to him about what I was feeling for Ruthie. Without Matthew, I had no one. I had no one to tell me how to make it stop.
    Usually, I told Ruthie all my problems. We didn't have any secrets between us.   But how could I tell her this?  How do you tell your best friend that you are sexually attracted to her?  I had just decided that this was one thing I would keep to myself when I heard a knock on my door.  It was Ruthie. She hated coming to my house.  My father made her feel uncomfortable, but she always made the sacrifice if I was sick or if she thought I needed her.
    "Are you still not feeling good?  I brought you some soup."  She stepped into my room.  "I made it myself.  Do you want to try some?  It's normal, I promise."  Ruthie was not the best cook.  She was much too creative.  When Ruthie cooked, by the time she finished adding garnish and trying to make the food look pretty, it was pretty much unrecognizable and inedible.  I was quite often forced to be the taste tester.  I would try to be positive, but she always knew when I was lying.   Once in a while she did create something truly delicious, but those times were few and far between.  Her failures in the kitchen never discouraged her from trying again, though.