Agnes Hahn Read Online Free PDF Page A

you?”
    “Sometimes, when I did something bad.”
    “How would she punish you? Did she hit you?”
    Gert wouldn’t do that. “She spanked me a couple of times when I was young, but mostly she’d lecture. Shake her finger in my face. Then she’d give me a hug and tell me I was a good girl who had just made a mistake.”
    Dr. Leahy scribbled a few more notes.
    The sound grated on Agnes’s ears. She gripped the edge of the table.
    “And Gert never married?”
    “No.”
    “Why not? Did she talk to you about it?”
    Agnes fingered the grain of the table. “She was engaged once, but Ella said she caught her fiancé kissing another woman.”
    “Ella caught him?”
    “No, Gert.”
    “What did Gert say about it?”
    “Men can’t be trusted.”
    “All men?”
    “Just some men. She wanted me to find one of the good ones.”
    Dr. Leahy scribbled on the tablet. “Gert didn’t have any other men in her life?”
    “I think another man wanted to marry her, but she said no because Ella wouldn’t have anyone to take care of her.”
    “Why would Gert do that?”
    “They were twins. Not identical, but they were very close, like many twins.”
    “So, you think Gert did the right thing?”
    “Family is the most important thing in life.”
    Dr. Leahy scribbled. “What do you remember about Ella?”
    Agnes exhaled. “She was nice to me, too, but she didn’t do much around the house. Just the cooking.”
    “Did she let you sit on her lap?”
    Agnes smoothed the tissue on the table. “No. Because of her artificial leg. She always kissed my forehead. When I was little, she let me put extra sugar on my cereal.”
    “How did Ella lose her leg?”
    “A car accident.”
    “Were you with her?”
    “No. It happened when she was young. She and Gert were out dancing. They both were drinking. Gert was driving home when the car went off the road and ran into a tree.” Why was the doctor still smiling?
    “How do you feel about that?”
    “I don’t drive at night, especially on weekends.”
    “Tell me more about Ella. Did she punish you?”
    Agnes looked up and frowned. What was the big deal about punishment? “No. Sometimes she’d tell Gert to go easy on me.”
    “When Gert spanked you?”
    “No. When she lectured. Gert would go on and on.”
    “Was Gert angry when she lectured you?”
    “No. She always seemed concerned. Not angry.”
    Dr. Leahy paused to write a few more sentences. The constant grin on her face was nearly as irritating as the sound of the scribbling.
    “You said Gert hoped you’d find one of the good men. Do you have a boyfriend?”
    Agnes picked at the rubber liner on the edge of the table with her fingernail. “I had one in high school.”
    “Was it a romantic relationship?”
    The corners of Agnes’s mouth tugged into a smile. “We kissed a lot.”
    “Anything else?”
    Agnes felt heat radiating from her face. She looked up at Dr. Leahy. Her expression was different. The smile was gone, but she still looked friendly, concerned. “He tried to touch my breasts one day.”
    “Did you want him to touch your breasts?”
    “Gert said it wasn’t proper. Only after marriage.”
    “Did Gert find out?”
    “I told her.”
    “What did she do?”
    Agnes shook her head. Gert always took care of things. “She told him to get away from me and never come back.”
    “How did that make you feel?”
    “He wasn’t one of the good ones. He was just after one thing.”
    “When you were kissing him. Do you remember how you felt?”
    Safe, comfortable. Agnes shrugged.
    You liked it.
    Agnes looked around the room, then at Dr. Leahy. She hadn’t heard it. Agnes crumpled the tissue in her hand.
    “After you knew he wasn’t one of the good ones, did you still want to kiss him?”
    Why couldn’t she hear it? It was clear.
    “Agnes? Did you want to kiss him?”
    “Of course not.” Agnes looked up, not quite making eye contact.
    “Why not?”
    “I couldn’t trust him. It’s not right to be romantic