Agent M4: Riordan Read Online Free PDF Page A

what’s happened. If I’d left behind a wife and family, it would’ve killed me. Then again, if I’d had a family, I probably wouldn’t have been in the business.”
    So Riordan was a protector, a man with a sense of honor. The notion surprised her, considering he’d worked for Robert Naylor.
    “Yet, you became romantically involved with Cassandra Naylor. Did you ever consider what your disappearance did to her?”
    He gave a rueful smile. “No. I was too self-absorbed, worrying about day-to-day survival. Besides, I don’t think I really mattered to her that much. Obviously, she moved on. After three years, anyone would.”
    Natalie made notes on her tablet. Did he have no self-worth? Someone like Riordan would make an excellent agent. Fear wouldn’t enter his mind because he didn’t value his own life enough.
    Now, she understood what Mitchell meant. He didn’t lack self-confidence so much as self-worth.
    If Riordan St. James didn’t love himself, how could he love anyone else?
    “What was your life like growing up?”
    Jumping up from the sofa, he went back to the window. To the outdoors.
    “What does that have to do with my readiness for the field?”
    His reluctance told her they were getting somewhere. “You’re the one that wanted to be here. Therefore, my rules. Remember?”
    Sighing, he spoke to the window. “Since I’ve been back, I’ve had a hard time with rules.”
    “Oh, really?” She uncrossed her legs. “For some reason, I thought that was a lifelong trait.”
    Glancing over his shoulder, he grinned at her. “Maybe.”
    They shared a smile, before he turned back to the traffic outside her window.
    “Why have you had a hard time with rules?”
    His response came quick. “Because I never want to be in a situation again that I can’t control.”
    Don’t we all? “Don’t you think that’s a bit unrealistic?”
    He shrugged. “Maybe. But, I also know I’d do anything not to be helpless again.” He lowered his voice. “To me, that was worse than death.”
    Her heart thudded in her chest. Riordan had thought himself tough, but Robert Naylor proved he wasn’t as valuable, as dangerous as he’d thought.
    He’d exposed Riordan’s vulnerability.
    “While you were in prison, did you ever think about dying, Riordan?”
    Taking a deep breath, he let it out in a gust. Natalie fought the urge to rise and slip her arms around him. Why did she feel that way with him? Why did he draw her to him like a magnet to steel?
    That kind of thinking had gotten her in trouble with Paul. She couldn’t afford to go there.
    “Yeah, I thought about giving in and just letting them beat me to death.” His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “But, I was so damned pissed off . All I could think about was getting out and finding whoever sent me there.”
    He looked over his shoulder, his blue eyes round with uncertainty and daring. “I wanted revenge, Meeks. Plain and simple. Does that make me crazy? Psychologically unstable?”
    She did rise then. “No.”
    Moving to stand beside him, she gazed into his anguished, turbulent eyes. His height made him appear invincible, his scent hypnotizing. Yet, she felt the overwhelming need to protect him .
    “I’d probably feel the same way, Riordan.”
    Turbulence turned to strong-willed passion in his pastel eyes, his fingertips feather-light against her cheek. “You’d never have to worry about that, Meeks. No matter where you were, I’d find you - and, the revenge would be mine.”
    Her heart pounded wildly against her ribs, like a mad, caged animal. God help her. She couldn’t breathe with his touch on her skin.
    This was absolutely crazy. How did she fight this idiotic attraction she had for him when he talked like a superhero and vowed to avenge her? When he stared at her mouth like he wanted to devour it, and she wanted him to do it?
    “Here we go…” Josie entered the office, water bottle in hand.
    Natalie sprang away from Riordan, heat filling