Against God Read Online Free PDF

you raise
     your
    - Me, the sucker, I swallowed it all: take responsibility, prepare for the
     future, get your life in order. . . But you got it! You got that it’s all
     pointless, you didn’t change and you were right!
    voice, but Sylvain retorts it isn’t that simple, so you bang even harder on the
     table, you yell at him to stop lying, everyone has been lying to you for years
     but not him, he’s not allowed, not your best friend, and you get to your feet,
     intent on leaving, on hitting every single bar, you want to get pissed with
     Sylvain like you used to, hey, Sylvain, c’mon, let’s go, but Sylvain looks
     somber, Sylvain doesn’t want to go,Sylvain tries to pacify
     you, you don’t understand, you remind him he’s usually the first to jump at the
     prospect of a party, he loses patience then, gets to his feet, says you’re
     upset, urges you to go back to the funeral home where everyone’s waiting, but
     you yell you don’t want to go back, you yell you want to stay here, you yell as
     loud as you can, Sylvain grabs your shoulder then, says okay, fine, don’t go
     back there, but he begs you to come to his place instead, right now, you’ll keep
     talking and drinking all night long in his apartment, but that’s not what you
     want, you want to get out, erupt like a volcano that’s lain dormant for too
     long, and you’ve started back on your litany of excess when Dan, the owner,
     comes over to ask you to leave the premises, because by now everyone is looking
     at you, annoyed and apprehensive, but Sylvain knows Dan well, takes him by the
     arm, leads him aside for a talk, you sit, wait, glare at the other patrons, and
     once more you notice the pretty girl on her own, who’s still watching you, but
     this time you don’t look away, this time you raise your glass in her direction,
     this time you wave her over, and she, after a moment’s hesitation, stands up,
     walks toward you, sits down on the chair you motion to with your chin, and you
     tell her that just three days ago, you would never have dared invite a beautiful
     girl over to have a drink with you, that you would have been too afraid of any
     problems that could cause, and you give a joyless laugh while the girl nods,
     then you ask her her name, Mélanie, so you ask Mélanie if she would like to go
     out with you tonight, another moment’s indecision,then she
     agrees, her voice calm, which is when Sylvain comes back to tell you he’s
     smoothed things over with Dan, but you get up, announce you’re going out with
     Mélanie, invite your friend to come along, but Sylvain refuses, discouraged,
     Sylvain begs you to be reasonable, and you get angry all over again, you yell at
     him, how can he ask you that, him, your friend, but you see a furious Dan
     approaching so you throw on your coat, grab Mélanie, who has her coat on by now
     too, by the hand, head for the door, and Mélanie hesitates slightly but finally
     does follow you, she says her car isn’t far, but you insist on taking yours
     parked out front, you open the car door and see Sylvain coming out of the bar,
     looking for you, but you order him not to follow you, you don’t want to see him
     again, he stops but begs you not to do anything stupid, call him later, crash at
     his place, but you get in the car, Mélanie too, the doors slam, the car takes
     off, Mélanie is worried, haven’t you had too much to drink to be driving, but
     no, you only had four or five beer, she asks where you want to go, you have no
     idea, other than Le Maquis you don’t know many bars in Montréal, actually the
     ones you hung out at over ten years ago must attract a crowd much younger than
     you by now, so she suggests a little bar she knows, right next to her place,
     that way you won’t have to drive if you have too much to drink, all spoken as
     naturally as can be, you shoot her a knowing glance, but she looks straight
     ahead as she gives you directions, the neighbourhood