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tumours early can increase your chances of survival. I have to be there for Jack, now Hugo has gone, you see.’ She pushed the wet tissues below her eyes as if physically holding back any more tears. ‘I mean, is that normal? I don’t know any more.’ She placed the tissues on her lap and sniffed. ‘When Hugo was here he’d rein me in. When my parents died, and Jack was a baby, I was all over the place, but he never let it get out of hand. He’d let me go into meltdown when I needed to – but then he’d also expect me to be normal sometimes, too. That made me expect it, too.’
    Sylvia nodded. ‘He gave you perspective.’
    ‘Mmm. I had bad days and good days, then eventually more good days. But now, it’s not even about bad days. It’s gone so far past that that it’s like I’m in free fall. That I’ll never get back.’
    Kate put her head in her hands, concentrating on the swirl of the rug below. From between her knees, she heard the forbidden words emerge from her mouth.
    ‘I miss Hugo so much.’
    Sylvia allowed the words to echo around the room.
    Kate touched a hand to her hot cheeks.
    They sat together silently for a while.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ Kate said finally, sitting back. ‘I’m all over the place today.’
    Sylvia regarded her warmly. ‘First sessions can be very emotional, Kate. You’ve waited a long time to talk about some very private and distressing feelings.’
    Kate nodded. ‘Thanks. You must think I’m a complete lunatic.’
    Sylvia sat very still, giving nothing away with her body language, Kate noted.
    ‘I certainly don’t think you’re a lunatic. I think you have been very brave coming here. From the little you’ve told me, I think you are a young woman who has experienced extreme trauma and has understandably been left with overwhelming feelings of anxiety. But you’re here now, and that’s the first step.’
    Kate licked her dry lips. ‘Really?’
    Sylvia nodded. ‘Absolutely. Now, before we go on, can I fetch you a glass of water?’
    Kate nodded gratefully.
    Sylvia stood up. She walked out of the sitting room, leaving the door ajar.
    Kate sat back into the comfortable chair. She looked round the room again. This wouldn’t be a bad place to sit for an hour or two a week. This woman might really help her find her way back to Jack.
    As she allowed the silence to calm her, the sound of laughter drifted from a room in the back of the house.
    A man laughing. Followed by a murmuring of voices.
    Sylvia’s voice, and a man’s voice. Kate strained her ears to hear what they were saying.
    They were talking. Sylvia and a man. He was laughing.
    She sat up straight.
    A second later, she heard Sylvia’s heavy step on the hall tiles. She entered the room with a glass of water and shut the door.
    ‘Sorry about that.’
    Kate stared. ‘Is there someone else here?’
    Sylvia sat down. ‘Um, Kate, that’s something we should clarify. As you know, I see clients in the evening, but because I work from home, I should explain that there may be people around from time to time. But I can assure you that nobody can hear our discussions. Everything we say in here is confidential.’
    Kate paused to choose her words carefully.
    ‘You were laughing.’
    Sylvia folded her hands on her lap. ‘Oh. Kate. I promise you that I was not laughing. And it was nothing at all to do with you.’
    ‘But who was it?’
    ‘Is that important to you?’
    ‘Yes. It is.’
    Sylvia kept her jaw strong. ‘It was my husband. He just walked in through the garage door talking to a colleague on his mobile. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting him home this early. He didn’t realize that I had a client.’
    My husband.
    Kate flinched. When this woman said the word ‘husband’, it didn’t stick in her mouth. It didn’t hurt. It spoke of a life where husbands came home early, not of a life where they never came home.
    Different.
    Very different.
    Same as everyone else.
    Pushing her hands on the firm chair, Kate