A Total Waste of Makeup Read Online Free PDF Page B

hasn’t at some point stuck a Post-It on every phone in her house saying, “Don’t call him!” Or the longer, “If he wanted to talk to you, he’d call. Go do something constructive!” In college, Kate, Dawn, and I once had three Post-Its stuck on the same phone. Assorted colors—so we didn’t accidentally rip off our roommate’s Post-It once we called our guy anyway.
    “That is such outdated thinking,” Kate insists. “The guy hasn’t done anything wrong, you had a good time, just call him.” She sips her champagne. “Oh, wow!” she says to Dawn, “you got the Grande Dame.”
    “No,” I say right back. “Then he’ll accept the date, and I’ll sleep with him just to make myself feel more desirable in his mind, and he won’t call for the fifth date, and I’ll be wallowing in self-pity for another week.”
    “I don’t know. Getting some might boost your ego if you think about it the right way,” Dawn says thoughtfully. “I mean, there’s something to be said for the virtues of a fuckbuddy.” She gives Kate a meaningful stare. “Of course, you’re not actually supposed to date them for nine years.”
    Later I would write:
    Women are not capable of having “fuckbuddies.” It’s a concept men came up with. Don’t buy the hype.

    “So not true. Works in theory—not in practice,” I insist.
    “Because inevitably you date the guy anyway, and no matter how hard you try, you get stuck with him,” Kate reminds us.
    Dawn rolls her eyes. “Did Jack have the nerve to propose to you again?”
    “When we started dating, I made my boundaries very clear,” Kate insists. Her cell phone rings. She pulls it out of her purse, then turns it off.
    I glance at Dawn, who says to Kate, “If you don’t answer, he’s just going to call seventeen times. And he’ll leave seventeen messages, all marked ‘urgent,’ and you’ll feel incredibly guilty by the time you get all the messages. So why not just call him back now, so we can all have a fun night.”
    “Because we had a fight last night. And he’s trying to get me to come over so we can make up. And, if I do that, I’m going go miss Girls’ Night, and I don’t want to do that.”
    I glance at Dawn again. Kate has a point. Although I adore Jack—he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met—he does seem to always find a reason for Kate not to go out with us.
    Even though I think I know the answer, I ask Kate, “So, what did you guys fight about?”
    “My inability to make a commitment,” Kate says, staring at her phone.
    Um…okay. “Is this you saying that, or Jack saying that?” I ask.
    “Our marriage counselor.”
    “But you’re not married,” Dawn points out.
    “I know that.”
    “And yet you’re seeing a marriage counselor?” Dawn asks.
    “I am well aware of the irony,” Kate snaps at her.
    Dawn puts her palms out in a show of surrender. “All respect.”
    Kate shakes her head. “I’ve been through this with him a million times. Relationships don’t work. When we started dating, he was committed to that. Now he’s talking exclusivity, and it’s like he never heard me. I am a human being. I have feelings and emotions and dreams and using someone for sex was a part of that. I can’t believe he would trick me like this.”
    Dawn begins shaking her head. It’s just so unbelievable. We sip our champagne in silence.
    Eventually, Kate sighs, and turns her phone back on. It’s still ringing. She picks up. “Look, I’m out with the girls tonight. You can’t keep making me feel guilty for…I know. I love you, too…No, I’m not. It’s just…yeah…”
    Kate looks toward us apologetically. “Okay, maybe for an hour,” she says into the phone. “But that’s it…. I love you, too. Bye.”
    Kate clicks her phone shut, then pleads to us with her eyes. “I’m sorry. Would you guys hate me if I went over there, just for an hour?”
    We say “Fine” and “No problem.” I mean, why state the obvious? That we won’t be