A Street Girl Named Desire: A Novel Read Online Free PDF Page A

on. During the abuse, he'd get a large hard-on while he watched Sandy whimper in submission. Afterward, he would make Sandy repeat that he was a better lover than any tall man she'd ever been with. It was then that he would turn gentle and compassionate, claiming that he only beat her because he loved her. In the same breath, he'd tell her he would kill her if she ever left him. If he couldn't have the pussy, no one would.
    In no time at all, Sandy became a full-fledged junkie—mainlining heroin in her arms, and needing nearly a bundle a day to maintain her habit. It was around then that Ray-Ray was arrestedon his third felony and had to do some hard time. This was both a blessing and a curse for Sandy. It freed her from Ray-Ray, but it also forced her to hit the streets and make shit happen on her own.
    When she wasn't high, Sandy had plenty of time to think while strolling, looking for tricks. Her thoughts were always the same. She imagined getting off drugs. She wanted to get a real job and raise her daughter properly. She wanted to go back to the person she had been before she met Ray-Ray Then the fear of withdrawal would set in. She didn't want to feel that pain wracking through her body. The numbing effect provided by the drug always won over her desire to quit. Every day, the same dream, though, because she would be reminded of it every time she looked into her daughter Nika's pure eyes. They were like opals that always seemed to be looking out, but you could never see in. Those eyes observed everything the one-bedroom apartment had to offer.

     
    Ten-year-old Nika sat silently inside the dark, cramped closet for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She wasn't afraid of the dark, like most kids her age; she was used to it. She knew by the sounds of the grunts, the squeaking of the bed-springs, that it was time to make her move. Ever so slowly she opened the closet door and slid on her belly as smooth as a snake. When she reached the foot of the bed, she peeked up and saw the john's white, hairy ass pump uncontrollably up and down on her mother. She had her timing down to a science. She reached her hand inside the man's pocket and pulled out his wallet. Shethumbed through the wallet and skillfully pulled out large bills only. She was careful to place the wallet and trousers back in the exact same manner she found them. With the stealth of a ninja, she silently slid back into the closet just as the John reached his climax.

     
    Sandy trained Nika well. Over time, they proved to be perfect partners in crime. Eventually, their good fortune ran out. The drugs and beatings from Ray-Ray had robbed Sandy of her youth and beauty. She had begun to look haggish. She was a muggy-mouthed dope fiend with rotting teeth. Multiple scars above her eyes gave her the permanent look of a seasoned boxer. This began to limit the number and quality of the tricks she was able to attract. Her habit got bigger, while her resources for supporting it shrank.
    One night, wretched in pain and dope sick, Sandy thought about how she had spent the entire day trying to earn some money. After struggling all day she couldn't even borrow a dollar. As she staggered through her apartment door, Nika eagerly greeted her, searching her pockets for food. She hadn't eaten in three days and was beginning to lose her balance. “Mommy … ?” Nika asked in desperation. “Did you make any money?”
    Sandy couldn't respond. She ran to the bathroom, but didn't make it to the toilet. She sat in a pool of despair, rimmed with her own vomit. Nika ran over and helped Sandy's trembling body onto the couch. Nika wiped the river of sweat from her mother's forehead.
    “Please help me. God, please help me,” Sandy cried as sherocked back and forth in Nika's thin arms. Nika was desperate to help her mother, and knew what the solution could be.
    “Mommy, you want me to go to the supermarket and steal something? We could get some food and some stuff to sell. We