A Step to Nowhere Read Online Free PDF

less than actions. Yes, I slept through the night as if dead and didn’t even go to the bathroom. Probably that was why I wanted to do just that instead of drowning in declarations.
    “Ray, I’ll drive to your place, okay?”
    “I’d say it would be reckless, but I know you … I’ll wait in the lobby.”
    “No. They might start suspecting.”
    “Let’s hope they don’t know that you have the phone.”
    “Okay.”
    I said goodbye. No kissing the phone or talking of forever love. I still felt weak and didn’t want to get off the couch, but I had to do it if I didn’t want to make my couch wet. I went to the bathroom, took a shower and brushed my teeth, trying not to think about strangers who were actively interested in my life for some reason unknown to me. I put my robe on, twisted a towel over my hair, and made myself a cup of coffee with cream and sugar. I sat back on the couch and put the darn, blue phone in front of me on the glass table. I drank coffee, the phone was quiet.
    Who were these people? Who was I to attract such unhealthy interest? Could it really be an admirer? Who could be interested in me without my knowledge? Maybe …
    I took an empty cup into the kitchen and went to the bedroom to get dressed.
    Could it be Jason? What if he had hired a private eye to follow me because …
    Black or blue?
    Both dresses were tight and short. They were telling the world: Here I am! I’m here for you! Take me. Dear babe, I’m your bunny, I’m yours forever!
    Jeans and a white sweater would be a great choice. Perfect for the weather, sexy, but in moderation. Jeans were tight, great for my ass.
    Don’t forget to call your office.
    “What if he was jealous?”
    Jealous? Of whom? Hypothetically? I didn’t notice any signs. He had never talked about it, hadn’t hinted. Plus, it wasn’t in his personality. I knew Jason.
    Should I wear my hair up? Actually no, it was still wet. Better in the car, on my way. I could use some perfume, blush, mascara, and a lip gloss. Get rid of this unhealthy pallor; create a fresh look. Can we do it? Yes, we can!
    What if it was my mom? No, she wasn’t crazy. She also wouldn’t spend that kind of money to hire someone. Then who?
    I brushed my wet hair, thinking that my sweater would become wet too, added some color to my eyes, lips and cheeks. In the mirror, I saw a pretty, twenty-nine-year-old woman. When I’d met Ray I was twenty-four. He was twenty-three but I had always felt as if I were younger. He was always so reasonable, so smart, so grown up , but at the same time he was a boy. I had been forever seventeen; irresponsible, rough, with a constant desire to shock. I had changed during these years, but hadn’t grown up. Who were these people? What did they want from me ?
    Don’t forget perfume . Elizabeth Arden 5th Avenue was just right. Sexy, but subtle. When they found me with my head shot through, I would smell of Elizabeth Arden. Elizabeth Arden and lacy underwear was going to look fancy on an autopsy table.
    “My Lord, what am I thinking about? What autopsy? Why would somebody shoot me?”
    My legs became weak and I sat down on the floor. What if somebody really wanted to kill me? But why? There would be no logical explanation for it. Could I cross somebody’s path without knowing about it? They could hire a killer and …
    “I need to talk to someone.”
    Ray wanted to help and I wanted his help, but he didn’t know my life. He didn’t know who I had met, what I had done. Who would I tell? What if it was one of the people I knew? Maybe it was Jason? I would tell him, he would promise to help, but he was the one to organize it in the first place. Jason would not kill me. Actually, why not? How did I know? When he made pork chops he looked like a maniac. He would raise the knife and cut the meat like he was really enjoying it.
    “Stop it. It’s not even funny.”
    I picked myself up from the floor and looked in the mirror again, just to make sure that blush