A Song for Julia Read Online Free PDF Page B

whispered, “Are you sure?”
    I found myself chewing on my lower lip again. “Yes.” 
    I dropped my eyes and leaned forward, putting my hand on the back of the taxi driver’s seat. “Can you take us to Bethesda instead? Wisconsin Avenue and Montgomery.”
    Suddenly it was quiet in the cab. Tense, awkward. I couldn’t believe I’d done this. I did not do one-night stands. But here I was, half-hyperventilating, with this guy I’d only known for eight hours sitting beside me in the cab. And I guess if it was just for now that was fine, but what if he wanted to see me again? What if he wanted to date? What if?
    I didn’t think I could handle that. 
    This was so stupid. Things were so much easier with Willard, before I broke up with him. I was always in control. There was no passion there, true. There wasn’t anything there. But it was comfortable. Easy. I wasn’t afraid.
    Crank, though: he made me afraid.
    The cab cleared the traffic and turned up at Massachusetts Avenue, and we were speeding out of downtown DC. 
    “You’re awfully quiet now,” Crank said.
    I looked at him, and his eyes were boring into mine, intense, probing. 
    “Having second thoughts?” he asked. “It’s okay.”
    I leaned a little closer. “No. Just … it’s just tonight. We don’t see each other again. We don’t call each other in Boston. We don’t … anything. Okay? We enjoy each other’s company tonight, and then we’re done.”
    He stared at me, surprised. And … his face looked disappointed. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing once in his throat. “I don’t know why, but that’s … not what I expected.”
    “Don’t get expectations. Not with me.”
    He shook his head. “Usually I’m the one who says things like that.” 
    The cab came to a halt, and he paid it, and we were out on the street. A cool wind blew through the streets of downtown Bethesda, and traffic rolled by us. I took his hand and walked to the entrance of the high rise, swiped my access card to unlock the front door, and we walked into the lobby.
    The night concierge was sitting at the counter, watching a small television. She looked up briefly, gave us a casual wave and went back to her show. Good. If it had been the day concierge, my appearance with Crank would have been reported back to my parents by morning.
    We waited in silence for the elevator. The bell when it arrived on the ground floor was loud.
    “Nice place,” he said. “Fancy.”
    “My parents bought it a few years back when we were living in the area.” I didn’t want to talk about the year I’d lived with my parents here. I didn’t want to think about it. If there’d been any other place I could have taken him, I would have. I didn’t like having this crazy, free moment mixed with my past.
    We stepped into the elevator. It rose, quickly, to the top floor. He followed me down the hall, and we stopped at the door while I fumbled for keys. I was shaking with anxiety, nervousness. The weight of this place made me want to scream. But not enough to push him away.
    I unlocked the door and opened it, then started to step in. My heart was thumping in my chest, and my throat was tight. Not just because of him. Because of this place. I had no good memories here. Even with the lights still out, looking inside this condo, which I’d stepped foot in only a few times since the day I graduated high school, shook me to the core and made my skin crawl.
    I shuddered and then turned back toward him when he didn’t come inside. He gave me a speculative, questioning look. As if he were curious about me, about who I was. 
    But that wasn’t any of his business.
    “What?” I asked. 
    “You don’t want to see me again,” he said.
    I did. But I shook my head no.
    “You don’t sleep with guys unless you’re serious with them,” he said.
    “I don’t have room for serious in my life.”
    He stepped close and brushed my lips with his, then spoke in a low tone. “I want you to be