A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival Read Online Free PDF Page B

eyes, and when she did, one of her dramatic eyebrows smeared slightly, as if she had a small bruise above one eye. "Try again, Beverly-and-Elliot freak!" "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen," said the hook-handed man. "I always thought people with birth defects were unfortunate, but now I realize they're hilarious." Violet and Klaus wanted to point out that a man with hooks for hands would probably have an equally difficult time eating an ear of corn, but they knew that a job interview is rarely a good time to start arguments, so the siblings swallowed their words and began swallowing corn. After a few bites, the children began to get their bearings, a phrase which here means "figure out how two people, using only two hands, can eat one ear of corn at the same time," but it was still quite a difficult task. The ear of corn was greasy with butter that left damp streaks on their mouths or dripped down their chins. Sometimes the ear of corn would be at a perfect angle for one of them to bite, but would be poking the other one in the face. And often the ear of corn would simply slip out of their hands, and everyone would laugh yet again. "This is more fun than kidnapping!" said the bald associate of Olaf's, who was shaking with laughter. "Lulu, this freak will have people coming from miles around to watch, and all it will cost you is an ear of corn!" "Is true, please," Madame Lulu agreed, and looked down at Violet and Klaus. "The crowd loves sloppy eating," she said. "You are hired for House of Freaks show." "How about that other one?" Esme asked, giggling and wiping buttermilk from her upper lip. "What is that freak, some sort of living scarf?" "Chabo!" Sunny said to her siblings. She meant something like, "I know this is humiliating, but at least our disguises are working!" but Violet was quick to disguise her translation. "This is Chabo the Wolf Baby," she said, in her low voice. "Her mother was a hunter who fell in love with a handsome wolf, and this is their poor child." "I didn't even know that was possible," said the hook-handed man. "Grr," Sunny growled. "It might be funny to watch her eat corn too," said the bald man, and he grabbed another ear of corn and waved it at the youngest Baudelaire. "Here Chabo! Have an ear of corn!" Sunny opened her mouth wide, but when the bald man saw the tips of her teeth poking out through the beard, he yanked his hand back in fear. "Yikes!" he said. "That freak is vicious!" "She's still a bit wild," Klaus said, still speaking as high as he could. "In fact, we got all these horrible scars from teasing her." "Grr," Sunny growled again, and bit a piece of silverware to demonstrate how wild she was. "Chabo will be excellent carnival attraction," Madame Lulu pronounced. "People are always liking of violence, please. You are hired, too, Chabo." "Just keep her away from me," Esme said. "A wolf baby like that would probably ruin my outfit." "Grr!" Sunny growled. "Come now, freaky people," Madame Lulu said! "Madame Lulu will show you the caravan, please, where you will do the sleeping." "We'll stay here and have more wine," Count Olaf said. "Congratulations on the new freaks, Lulu. I knew you'd have good luck with me around." "Everyone does," Esme said, and kissed Olaf on the cheek. Madame Lulu scowled, and led the children out of her caravan and into the night. "Follow me, freaks, please," she said. "You will be living, please, in freaks' caravan. You will share with other freaks. There is Hugo, Colette, and Kevin, all freaks. Every day will be House of Freaks show. Beverly and Elliot, you will be eating of corn, please. Chabo, you will be attacking of audience, please. Are there any freaky questions?" "Will we be paid?" Klaus asked. He was thinking that having some money might help the Baudelaires, if they learned the answers to their questions and had an opportunity to get away from the carnival. "No, no, no," Madame Lulu said. "Madame Lulu will be giving no money to the freaks, please.