A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival Read Online Free PDF

receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to demonstrate all these things as well. In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business, but in the case of the Baudelaire orphans' job interview with Madame Lulu, the situation was much more desperate. They could not be honest at all, because they were disguised as entirely different people, and the worst thing that could happen was being discovered by Count Olaf and his troupe and spending the rest of their lives in circumstances so terrible that the children could not bear to think of them. "Sit down, please, and Lulu will interview you for carnival job," Madame Lulu said, gesturing to the round table where Olaf and his troupe were sitting. Violet and Klaus sat down on one chair with difficulty, and Sunny crawled onto another while everyone watched them in silence. The troupe had their elbows on the table and were eating the snacks Lulu had provided with their fingers, while Esme Squalor sipped her buttermilk, and Count Olaf leaned back in his chair and looked at the Baudelaires very, very carefully. "It seems to me you look very familiar," he said. "Perhaps you have seen before the freaks, my Olaf," Lulu said. "What are names of the freaks?" "My name is Beverly," Violet said, in her low, disguised voice, inventing a name as quickly as she could invent an ironing board. "And this is my other head, Elliot." Olaf reached across the table to shake hands, and Violet and Klaus had to stop for a moment to figure out whose arm was sticking out of the right-hand sleeve. "It's very nice to meet you both," he said. "It must be very difficult, having two heads." "Oh, yes," Klaus said, in as high a voice as he could manage. "You can't imagine how troublesome it is to find clothing." "I was just noticing your shirt," Esme said. "It's very in." "Just because we're freaks," Violet said, "doesn't mean we don't care about fashion." "How about eating?" Count Olaf said, his eyes shining brightly. "Do you have trouble eating?" "Well, I....I mean, well, we..." Klaus said, but before he could go on, Olaf grabbed a long ear of corn from a platter on the table and held it toward the two children. "Let's see how much trouble you have," he snarled, as his henchmen began to giggle. "Eat this ear of corn, you two-headed freak." "Yes," Madame Lulu agreed. "It is best way to see if you can work in carnival. Eat corn! Eat corn! Violet and Klaus looked at one another, and then reached out one hand each to take the corn from Olaf and hold it awkwardly in front of their mouths. Violet leaned forward to take the first bite, but the motion of the corn made it slip from Klaus's hand and fall back down onto the table, and the room roared with cruel laughter. "Look at them!" one of the white-faced women laughed. "They can't even eat an ear of corn! How freakish!" "Try again," Olaf said with a nasty smile. "Pick the corn up from the table, freak." The children picked up the corn and held it to their mouths once more. Klaus squinted and tried to take a bite, but when Violet tried to move the corn to help him, it hit him in the face and everyone except for Sunny, of course, laughed once more. "You are funny freaks," Madame Lulu said. She was laughing so hard that she had to wipe her