A Series of Murders Read Online Free PDF Page B

the superbrains of the
Stanislas Braid
production team have come up with a way round that. In episode two, “The Italian Stiletto Murder”, because Christina is still away, Stanislas Braid’s
other
daughter, Elvira, suddenly returns from her finishing school in Switzerland.’
    â€˜That’s ridiculous.’
    â€˜Not really. Not by the standards of the medium. Remember, Charles, we are working in television.’
    â€˜But what would W. T. Wintergreen say to her precious hero suddenly developing another daughter?’
    â€˜She has not as yet been consulted on this point. And when she is, scream and kick though she may – and scream and kick though her loopy sister Louisa may – W.E.T. will have their way with them. Stanislas Braid will sprout a second daughter.’
    â€˜Writers must have more control of what happens to their books than that.’
    â€˜Depends what it says in the contract. And knowing W.E.T.’s Contracts Department, I should think they’ve sewn up the
Stanislas Braid
property in every way, right down to the merchandising of
Stanislas Braid
“His ‘n’ Her” Bath Mats.’
    Charles shook his head in what he would have liked to be disbelief. But it wasn’t – oh no, he found Will’s words all too believable.
    â€˜Charles, in television and film the concept of writers having “control” just does not exist. Never forget the old Hollywood story of the starlet who was so dumb she slept with the writer.’
    Charles laughed and accepted Will’s offer of another drink. He felt like quite a few drinks that evening. He wanted to go to bed with a mind anaesthetised to images of crushed and crumpled bodies.
    After a long swallow of Bell’s, he asked, ‘And is that really for real? The business about Elvira? They really want you to do it?’
    â€˜Cross my heart and hope to end up writing one-liners for David Frost. Yes, it really is true.’
    â€˜But how on earth can you do it?’
    â€˜I’m a television writer,’ Will asserted with a deep cynicism. ‘They pay me, I do it.’
    â€˜Well, I don’t envy you that task.’
    â€˜Introducing Elvira in ep. two?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ve already done it.’
    â€˜Done it? But Sippy only died this morning. You couldn’t have had time.’
    â€˜I may not be the greatest writer on earth,’ said Will Parton, affecting an American Drawl, ‘but I sure is the quickest.’ Then, in response to Charles’s continuing expression of puzzlement, he went on: ‘No, actually, I did those rewrites a few days back.’
    â€˜But what . . .? Why?’ Charles was at a loss. ‘I don’t understand.’
    â€˜Then I will explain it to you. I was sworn to secrecy over this, but quite honestly, now that Sippy’s dead, I don’t see that any harm can be done by telling you. The fact is, as we have all observed, to call Sippy Stokes an actress was an offence under the Trades Description Act.’
    Once again Charles winced inwardly at this attack on the dead girl.
    â€˜Well, even Ben Docherty, through his post-meridian alcoholic haze, couldn’t help noticing that she had about as much talent as a bar of soap. In fact, when he saw the rushes of the first few days’ filming, he knew a monumental blunder had been made. It was then that he made the decision she would have to be replaced, so Dilly Muirfield summoned me to a meeting, which witnessed the birth of Elvira and her wonderful finishing school.’
    â€˜But just a minute – if Sippy was that bad, why didn’t Ben just sack her and recast for the first episode?’
    â€˜What, and waste three days’ filming? Anyway, all the rest of the cast were contracted. It’d be an expensive write-off. And then they’d have to find dates to make another episode, and Russell Bentley’s