A Sadness Within Read Online Free PDF Page B

shrugged off my question nonchalantly.
    “Will, you aren’t as awful as you think, you know.” He always had such low opinion of himself, refusing to believe that he could ever be good. “I mean, you do still come back here once in a while, and there are times I still see the old you. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It isn’t impossible for you to be feeling.” I stopped to see if there was a reaction before I continued. “I think you’ve been away from human life for such a long time that you don’t recognize it. Whatever this girl did, she stirred up something in you. Perhaps, what you’re feeling is loneliness.”
    He gave me a look of disbelief, but I could also register relief rolling off of him.
    “Lonely?” he quipped and our brother/sister moment was gone. “But I live with a bunch of guys. Plus I have you,” he answered sarcastically. There he was again, the Will that he had become. The one that only cared about himself. The one I didn’t quite trust. The one that let the disease take over. Still, something inside of me wanted to keep hoping, especially considering the sliver of innocence he just revealed. I would never give up on him, which is why I kept pushing.
    “Well yes, but even humans can feel lonely despite the fact that they have families. It’s different. I don’t know how to explain it, as it’s something I scarcely remember myself. Maybe even immortals can want more.” I paused before continuing hoping my words would sink in and finally reach him. “Perhaps this life isn’t supposed to be all about blood and disease. I think maybe you want more.”
    He began laughing and I looked down at my hands, suddenly annoyed with his reaction.
    “I think you’ve been hanging around humans for too long,” he suggested, while he rolled out of bed and began pulling clothes out of a giant duffle bag.
    “I don’t think that’s very funny, Will,” I said quietly, working hard to control the annoyance that was welling inside me. “I was only trying to help.” Sometimes he can be so frustrating. If it weren’t for the fact that he was my big brother, I would have just left him there on his own. Screw trying to help. But, of course, he was my brother, and I felt someone needed to help him.
    Will looked back at me, and the laughter on his face instantly disappeared.
    “I’m sorry, Cee. I really would like your help. Maybe you could help me figure out who this mystery girl is and then I can go from there,” he continued.
    I stood for a moment, contemplating. If only I could say no. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself to walk away just like he had done to me many times before, I never seemed able to do it. He was looking at me intently, the softness returning to his face, and it was evident that he really wanted this, and there was no way I could turn my back.
    “Fine,” I sighed, giving in, “but you need to fill me in on everything.  And quit trying to be to be so damn tough.”
    He explained again in detail, the events that had happened again, and included a description of the girl and the house this time. I knew that house, and I knew that girl. Her name was Julia Cavallo, and she was my English teacher. I didn’t know very much about her because she was new and young enough to frequently be mistaken for a student. It was common knowledge that she lived alone in the house down the road and that there had been some horrible tragedy in her past. I didn’t concern myself with gossip, so I never bothered to learn what it was. She kept to herself and didn’t seem to be a bother to anyone.  
    “What are you thinking about, Will. You won’t hurt her, will you?” This new Will was something that would take a bit of getting used to. While my brother hid things around me, I wasn’t an idiot and knew that he wasn’t always the best at self-control.
    “No, no, of course not! I gave my word. And to tell you the truth, maybe I am a little tired of that,” he said,