A Reason to Rebel Read Online Free PDF Page A

Papa’s side and she did not know why she had expected anything else from me.”
    “Well, you did always side with your papa,” said Susanna gently. “Matthew is a charmer, one who paid lip service to your father’s dictates and then did precisely as he pleased. Marianne has independence of spirit, knows what she wants out of life and is not afraid to reach out for it, whereas you—”
    “Whereas I am the middle child. The one who is generally considered to be dutiful and sensible. The peacemaker. And that was what I was trying to do with Marianne that day, do you not see?”
    Susanna reached across and touched Estelle’s hand. “Do not be so hard on yourself, darling.”
    “I did not mean to overset her, but Marianne has always maintained unrealistic expectations. I knew she would have to do as Father wanted in the end; what choice did she have? And so there was little point antagonizing him and having to endure his brutal punishments if she refused to see reason. I wanted to save her from that,” Estelle whispered, a catch in her voice. “But I had no notion that by trying to make her see reason I would only succeed in driving her away.”
    “Where do you think she is gone to?”
    “I cannot say. I have not made enquires because, well because…” She indicated her emancipated body as her words trailed off.
    “But your father is looking for her.”
    “I thought he was.” In a low voice, always aware that the servants could be eavesdropping, she told Susanna of her father’s visit.
    “So that was his carriage I passed at the end of the drive. What a fiend to abandon his daughter so! I had not thought quite so badly of him. No matter,” said Susanna briskly. “We must find her without his help, that is all.”
    Tears of gratitude sprang to Estelle’s eyes. “I could not ask you to do that. You are newly married, you have responsibilities.”
    “Fiddlesticks, this is more important. Michael will understand.”
    “I did wonder if she had gone to Mr. Porter in Ramsgate.”
    “The young man articled to your husband’s solicitor?”
    “Yes, they met here when Marianne came to stay last year, and were much taken with one another. Marianne declared herself to be violently in love.”
    “Marianne has fancied herself in love on many occasions.” Susanna rolled her eyes. “However, it is a possibility, I suppose. Have you asked him if he has seen her?”
    “I wrote to him but he sent a formal reply saying he had not had the pleasure of seeing her. Just a few lines, very stiff, which told me nothing at all.”
    “That is hardly surprising if she does not wish to be found and if…”
    “If?”
    “Well, if they are living together but are not married. Do not forget that Marianne is not yet of age, so unless they eloped to Scotland there would be no other way for them. We must go to Ramsgate and confront this Mr. Porter in person. I feel sure that he did not tell you the entire truth in his letter.”
    “I cannot.”
    “What is to stop you?”
    “Well, there is more I did not tell you about my father’s visit. He expects me to return to Hampshire with him in a week’s time.”
    “Why?”
    “Because he says I cannot stay here when my husband’s son takes possession.”
    “Hmm, he is right about that, I suppose. And surely you would not want to be here with that cold fish and his shrew of a wife.”
    Estelle smiled at her friend’s apt description. “No, indeed, but I do not wish to return to Hampshire either.”
    “What had you planned to do?”
    “To be honest, I had not thought about it. I was more concerned about Marianne. And, of course, I have not been well enough to think beyond one day at a time.”
    “Oh, Estelle!” Susanna embraced her. “Well, I suppose Hampshire it will have to be, for the time being. At least until you are out of mourning.”
    “Well, there is a difficulty in that respect too. When I am out of mourning Father says I am to marry Mr. Cowper instead of