A Really Awesome Mess Read Online Free PDF Page B

whole table turned to stare at me. Even Jenny, who tended not to acknowledge stuff going on around her, gaped at me wide-eyed.
    “Yeah, it’s probably because you start screaming every time something doesn’t go your way,” Alisha said with a smirk.
    “I don’t scream every time I don’t get my way!” I practically screamed at her. I know, the irony. But I was
pissed
.
    Alisha just laughed. “I can see that.”
    Justin put his hand on top of mine. The weight and warmth of it felt nice, like snuggling under a heavy blanket on a rainy day. Right before Alisha yelled at him for “touching me inappropriately,” he said, “Don’t worry. I’ll be there with you, too. We’ll have fun yelling at everyone else.”
    Alisha gave me the stink eye until I finished all the food on my plate. I was so full and disgusted with myself by the time I finally did, I could barely wait to get to the bathroom. “Be back in a sec,” I said, trying to look ultracasual and not as sweaty, sick, and desperate as I was feeling. “Just have to brush my teeth before study hall starts.”
    Alisha gave me a knowing look. “I have to ‘brush my teeth,’ too,” she said, using her fingers to make air quotes. “I’ll go with you.”
    “Yell with you tomorrow,” Justin said. “Try not to get into too much trouble before then.”
    “You, too,” I called over my shoulder.
    I walked down the hall super-fast, trying to burn some of the calories I wasn’t going to be able to get rid of—it wasn’t realistic to think
everything
would come up—but no matter how much speed I put on, Alisha was right there beside me.
    “Forgot to tell you another rule they have for ED kids here,” she said, panting. Clearly all that chowing down had not only wreaked havoc on her figure, it had also made her grossly out of shape. “Your feet have to face the right way in the bathroom, if you get my drift.”
    “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told her, slamming through the girls’ room door and into a stall, although of course I did. She’d pretty much read my mind.
    I sat down on the toilet without even pulling down my pants and rested my head in my hands. Once again, tears were threatening to spill and if I started crying now, I was afraid I’d never stop. I hoped my parents were happy—so far, this place had been
amazing
for my mood and self-esteem. Not. I was madder and more depressed than ever, with the exception of a few minutes at dinner when I’d talked to a semi-cute guy who’d thought I was semi-cool.
    Alisha interrupted my pity party by rapping on the door. The sharp, tinny sound echoed around the tiled bathroom, makingmy head hurt along with my stomach. “You done yet?”
    “Almost,” I said, giving her the finger from behind the door. I’d considered using the container on the wall meant for used tampons and pads as my puke bucket, but then I opened it and found it completely full. It never would have held the entire contents of my stomach, and besides
—ewwwww
. I did not want to get hit in the face with someone else’s former uterine wall. I was just going to have to ride this one out until I could ditch Alisha. The timing was definitely not ideal—the longer I waited, the more of what I’d eaten would get digested, the more calories I’d have consumed, the faster I’d get fat again—but I didn’t have much of a choice.
    I flushed the toilet, walked out of the stall, and washed my hands. “I’m going to evening study hall now. See you later, Alisha.” I was hoping she’d leave so I could just get on with it.
    But she gave me another
I can see right through you
look. “I’m going, too, so I’ll walk you there.”
    “Great,” I muttered.
    “I guess you forgot your toothbrush?” she asked, smirking again.
    I shrugged. This place truly sucked.

SECOND SUMMER TERM HERE WAS APPARENTLY LIGHT ON THE academics. I had Aesthetics of Classic Film, which should at least help me catch up on my sleep; Culinary