A Really Awesome Mess Read Online Free PDF

bullying of the corn have anything to do with why you’re here?”
    I tried to play hard to get by looking pissed but ended up laughing instead. “Only according to my parents, who needed an excuse to get rid of me. You?”
    He gave me a sly little smile, and it made his eyes kind of look like someone had thrown glitter in them. They reminded me of the sparkly green lava lamp Joss had given me for my eleventh birthday. I’d wanted to bring it to Heartland—I got kind of nervous in the dark, as embarrassing as that might be for a sixteen-year-old to admit—but personal furnishings weren’t allowed. Along with cute clothes and hair removal devices and cell phones and the Internet and everything else fun in this world.
    “Same kind of deal,” he said with a shrug. “Hey, can I just sayyou’re the first semi-cool person I’ve met since I got here? The rest are, like, totally nuts.”
    His sort-of compliment made me miss my clothes and personal grooming items even more. How I was supposed to have a chance at a normal relationship here wearing shapeless sweats and sporting furry legs, a unibrow, and ape pits? I mean, yeah, I knew relationships weren’t allowed, and that I wasn’t even allowing myself any more of them until college, but it would’ve been nice to at least dream without the specter of unwanted fuzz hanging over my fantasies.
    Alisha chimed in again. “You need to refrain from name-calling, Justin. This is a nonjudgmental environment.”
    We both ignored her. “Tell me about it. My roomie”—I aimed a thumb at Jenny, which was what Alisha had told me Farm Girl’s real name was on the way to the caf, and who was sitting way at the end of the table—“won’t say a word. Just gives me basic sign language and writes me a note once in a while. Alisha here finally explained she has a form of this thing called selective mutism, so she won’t speak in groups or to new people even though she does with her family and friends, and I guess her therapist here. I feel bad for her and all, but I’m gonna go crazy without anyone to talk to.”
    Justin gave me more of the green-eyed glitter treatment. “You’ll have me to talk to.”
    “Good to know,” I said, feeling an odd little flirty flutter inmy stomach. Or maybe it was just more nausea from having to eat so much. Hard to tell.
    “And if it makes you feel any better, my roommate won’t talk to me either, and he doesn’t even have anything to blame it it on. Honestly, he’s just an asshole.”
    I burst out laughing, and the combo platter of what Justin had just said and my response to it pushed Alisha over the edge.
    “You—” she said, pointing at Justin. “I said no name-calling. And as for you”—she pointed at me here—“you better watch yourself. Any more crap and I’ll get you put in the SR group with the hard-core dykes. They’ll love your skinny little ass.”
    “What’s SR?” Justin asked, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. “I’m assigned to a
SR
group and I’m just wondering if the hard-core dykes are going to appreciate my manly hetero presence in there.”
    Another one of the green sweatshirted staff walked by and Alisha fell right back into therapy robot mode. “
SR
stands for ‘Sexual Reactivity’ and no, you won’t be placed in the gay girl’s group.” Once the Staffer was out of hearing range, she glared back at me. “You, I’m not so sure about.”
    I pulled my schedule out of my pocket, and there were those awesome hip bones jutting into my palms again. They made me even more determined not to eat, or at least not hold down, the steaming globs of goo Alisha was trying to force-feed me. “Nope, I won’t be there either. Apparently, I’ll be in a thrillingAdoption Issues group instead, after which I have … “I scanned the paper and then snapped. “… a freaking Anger Management one? Crap! Why does everyone think I’m so angry?”
    I guess I was yelling a little bit, because the