A Matter of Trust: Follow Your Heart Read Online Free PDF

happiness. She liked the feel of his
arm around her. She liked his masculine smell, made up half of fresh
sweat and half of his woodsy aftershave lotion. When they reached the house,
she turned into his arms and gave him a hug. “Thanks so much!”  Both Doug and she
knew that she was thanking him for more than just helping her walk, but when
Doug  tried to hang on to the hug when she was finished with it, she tensed up
and blocked him.  She may have taken a step forward, but she wasn’t well yet. 
She looked into his eyes with an appeal for forgiveness and saw it there.
    Allison’s ankle needed to be treated and there wasn’t
anybody to do it but Doug.  With only a tiny qualm, she extended her leg and
Doug put a hassock under her foot.  He silently asked for permission, and
receiving her nod of assent, he took off her boot and sock and cradled her foot
in his hands.  The intimacy of the situation was obvious to both of them and
Doug tried to defuse it as best he could by being brisk and matter of fact.  
Examining her ankle with his hands, he felt next to certain that nothing was
broken and after applying liniment, he bound it with a bandage from the First
Aid kit in the kitchen.  Despite his attempts to appear professional, it was a
tender moment - another step forward.  
    Then they began to fix dinner together.   Doug took
the steaks out of the refrigerator and rubbed them with garlic, then peeled the
potatoes, and grated them for cottage fries, adding grated cheddar. Allison
made the salad. She wanted to do it in the kitchen, but an attempt to walk,
even with Doug’s grandfather’s cane, decided Doug to take the ingredients and
tools for salad making to her on the couch.  Doug made a salad dressing out of
lemon, pepper, chopped basil, onion, salt and a dash of balsamic vinegar.  When
the potatoes were nearly ready, Doug tossed a couple of small soaked pieces of
hickory into the stove and put the steaks on a griddle directly over the fire
for maximum heat and for the taste of hickory smoke. 
    While the steaks were cooking, Doug put a card table
and two chairs in front of the fire and helped Allison to sit at the table. 
Then when finally everything was in place, he sat down and they looked at each
other.  They had been working together as if they had been married for a decade,
hardly needing to consult on what needed to be done.  They knew that something
momentous had happened in imperceptible stages and though neither was used to
praying before meals, they sent up a silent prayer of thanksgiving.  The
journey wasn’t over, but they were well on their way.
     

Chapter 7
     
    After dinner, Doug helped Allison back to the couched
and cleared all the dinner things away to the kitchen.  That done, he stoked up
the fire and returned to the couch  with two snifters of brandy and a bowl of
chocolate covered cherries and sat down close to Allison, not touching thighs,
but close enough so she could feel his body heat and enjoy the smell of him.
She thought back to the wait in the emergency room – the same but very
different. For a while, they sat in companionable silence.  This had always
been the best part of Doug’s days at the farm:  the warmth of the open fire,
the smell of the hardwood logs, the quiet of the night and the taste of the
brandy.  This was his refuge, this was his place of relaxation and peace. 
    Of course on this particular night, there was an
element of unease.   He was sitting next to the woman he loved and wanted to
put his arms around her and kiss her.  But he couldn’t.  He was sure now that
the moment when he could would come – probably soon – but it had to be when she
was ready.  Then Allison reached over and took his hand. Just that, and for
several minutes there was nothing else. Then she said, “I think I can tell you
why I am the way I am.  I can only do it if you don’t say anything at all. 
Just listen. And be patient, it may take me a long time.