A Matter of Heart Read Online Free PDF Page A

Kellan’s
     deadline to join the Guard early came and went without his presence. And while
     I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring that extra Connection’s existence, it’s
     fundamentally impossible for me to pretend my fiancé’s twin brother doesn’t
     exist, especially when the calls pour in asking Jonah where Kellan is. This led
     to me panicking—outside of Jonah’s presence, because hello , he would
     have been in on that feeling like a heat-seeking missile—and making efforts to
     uncover where he was myself without letting anyone know I was actually
     interested.
    First stop, Moira Graystone,
     Karl’s beautiful wife and mother to my goddaughter. We’re at a park, just us
     girls, when I casually ask, “Are you back to work yet?”
    As Emily’s too young to
     actually enjoy any of the play equipment, we’re hanging out with her on a
     blanket. Moira hands a toy over. “Just one mission so far.”
    A sad look crosses her face.
     She’s a good mom, devoted to her adorable daughter, and hates being away from
     Emily for more than ten minutes at a time. “Must make it nice that you have
     such good friends to lean on in the Guard.”
    “Oh, definitely.” Emily lets
     out a loud coo, grabbing her mom’s attention.
    I try again. “How are things
     with the Guard? Everything okay there?”
    She picks Emily up and blows
     raspberries on her tummy. “Runs like clockwork. Sometimes I wonder if they even
     miss me when I’m gone.”
    Perfect
     lead-in. But just as I’m about to ask about Kellan’s absence, her cell phone
     rings; ironically, it’s the Guard, and before I know it, she’s off, leaving
     Emily and me to finish our playdate alone.
    Since striking out with
     Moira, I’ve resorted to eavesdropping. As luck would have it, Karl is over,
     questioning Jonah about just the thing I want to know. I’m far enough away that
     I can’t feel the pull towards him; hopefully he can’t sense my emotions at such
     a distance, either.
    “If you know something, you
     need to tell us,” Karl is saying. They’re in Jonah’s apartment, and I am in my
     bedroom on the other side of mine, so despite the wide-open wall between the
     two, their words are soft and hard to grasp. I have to fight to hold onto them.
    I slide down and sit to the
     side of my open bedroom door. A small listening device complete with headphones
     materializes in my hands. It’s wrong, I know it’s wrong, but desperate times
     call for desperate measures.
    I just need to know Kellan’s
     okay. And there’s no way I’m asking Jonah outright. I think he’s still hurt
     from what may or may not have happened between Kellan and I last spring. Jonah
     and I had, well, not broken up, and not really fought, per se, but we’d been in
     a bad place after I’d caught him kissing his ex-girlfriend (which he maintains
     was a goodbye kiss). And by bad place, I mean I’d basically fallen apart like
     some nutjob whack-a-doodle and ended up leaning heavily on Kellan after running
     away to Annar. Kellan and I found ourselves in bed together after drinking
     heavily at a Guard party, and while I can’t say for sure nothing serious
     happened between us, neither of us could verify it.
    “Tell me,” Jonah is saying,
     “are you here as his friend or as an official Guard representative?”
    “What if I say both?”
    There is a protracted
     silence, which prompts me to peek around the corner. Unfortunately, neither guy
     is within eyeshot of the doorway I’d created between our apartments.
    Jonah finally says, “I
     happen to know Kellan’s faithfully checked in with Guard brass once a week, as
     agreed upon. He’s completed every mission he’s been assigned in the field and
     sent back paperwork on time. So far, I don’t see what the problem is.”
    “Jens wants him back in
     Annar.”
    Jens Belladonna. The head of
     the Guard. We’ve yet to meet, although I’ve heard plenty of stories about him
     so far. Apparently, he’s a