of his eyes at
Sam.
Lee is my teacher and has become such a good friend. He is
head dance instructor and gay, he was the first openly gay man I
had ever met and wouldn’t ever have given it a second thought,
until the one and only night dad had ever picked us up, he was
drunk and Aunty Liz was working at the hospital, so he came from
the pub to walk us home and he said as we went down the
stairs.
“Keep away from the poof, they like dancing.” What planet was
my drunken father on? Does he think you can catch the gay gene? He
was my good friend and like me, he liked men? Well we both liked
Sam anyhow! I laughed so too did Becky at just how stupid my dad’s
reasoning was. Lee was a nice fella and friend, who yes liked
dancing and men, so did I, I dreamed of them constantly. This being
the only thing dad had ever said, that came close to the birds and
the bees talk and forget mum doing the talk, she knew we’d be heard
it all in school, she’d, had the letter from them informing her, of
the upcoming lessons in year three, like she’d discuss anything
like that with me.
That part of life’s lessons learnt at school was the worst
ever in school history, not only did the teacher not have a clue as
to how to teach sex education, she had no control over the boys in
the class either and every time, she mentioned penis or vagina she
blushed. As they gave a call to rally whooping and stomping their
feet, bummer this was a class full of idiots, I had hoped to learn
something from that lesson, but they had ruined it.
That was an embarrassing lesson, full of pre-pubescent boys,
and the testosterone filled ones weren’t that much better behaved.
Shit, I could I never look at another cucumber without seeing
stupid condoms covering the things we had had to put them over to
show well, you know the drill. Quite a few of the lads laughed and
said most of the lads could use a banana as their model.
One asked me should he use a banana or a cucumber, waving his
nether region in my direction, touching himself up in front of me.
Big mistake. I kicked him in his man zone and said neither it was
now too shrivelled up and had died, and gone to lady-boy heaven,
exit one teary eyed Gary Parkin. The more boisterous of the spotty
faced boys had managed to blow them up and wear them as hats
clever. Oh, having jonnies flicked at me was the highlight of the
day, not. That memory locked in the mind safe, my keys thrown away.
Snap out of it dolly daydream he’s going, daydreaming cost me
precious seconds with him, and he missed more of my witty repartee!
Bummer.
“No problem Michelle, we can do it some other time. I will
speak to you later… Now I know you can.” Wow, I shivered as he
leant forward and whispered that in my ear, berrrrhhh ‘chills
they’re multiplying and I’m losing my mind,’ (who knew what that
line in Greece, my fav film of all time, actually meant this?)
Literally I was in pieces. Yeahh, I’d had first contact with Sam,
with a smile and a shoulder shrug he disappeared down stairs, to
have his private lesson with Lana.
He was off to the stunning girlfriend, she was better for him
than me, they were the same age, they both had gorgeous drop-dead
bodies and they had chemistry, and he did wait for her at school.
On the other hand, was he in fact only waiting for James? I can
dream that he’s here for me and he waits to see me? No… I saw the
looks they gave each other, when I spied on them from the back
steps, all the laughter, and their touches. All too often, I’d run
back up and had a cry in the loo.
The reason he was not interested in a frizzy haired me, she
was the reason Michelle I told myself, the reason he’d never look
at me like that was dancing with him in there, the glamorous leggy
blonde, with the killer smile and drop-dead body, compare her
perfection against all my faults, I realised last week I was on a
hiding to nowhere, when they danced the Argentinian Tango, they
looked like they were about to roll