A Heart for Home Read Online Free PDF Page A

the Bjorklunds take in that little Indian girl like they did?
    Joshua felt like shaking his head, but since he and Dr. Elizabeth were playing the music before the Sunday church service, he needed to keep a smile on his face, or at least not a frown. If he frowned, people would either make assumptions or plain out ask him if something was wrong. He’d never lived in a place where people were so concerned about each other as in Blessing. Especially Mrs. Bjorklund. Astrid’s mother. And his future mother-in-law if his dreams came true.
    His fingers stumbled on a chord, causing Elizabeth to glance up at him. He had to be careful. But his mind refused to obey. After they’d played the final chords and Lars stood to begin the service, Joshua exhaled a sigh of relief. He still wondered how they could have a real worship service without Pastor Solberg.
    Everyone rose to sing “Holy, Holy, Holy.” As he lost himself in the beauty of the hymn, he could let his spirit fly.
    “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God almighty!
    Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.
    Holy, holy, holy! Merciful and mighty.
    God in three persons, blessed Trinity!”
    His voice soared, leading the others to put heart and soul into the singing. After the fourth verse everyone sat and Lars Knutson stood with his Bible in hand.
    “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior.”
    Joshua felt each word settle into his heart, first the hymn and now the lessons. “ ‘Beloved, let us love one another,’ ” Lars started, reading from First John, “ ‘for love is of God. . . . He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.’ ” The words were no longer settling gently but rather were stabbing into the dark spot he kept trying to ignore.
    The argument going on inside him started right up again. The contention: his hatred of the Indians. But I have a right to feel so, he argued back. What if they take Astrid away like they did my aunt and keep her captive until she no longer wants to live as a white person? My father spent the rest of his life hating the Indians for destroying his sister.
    Right, and look what good it did him. He became mean and bitter. Do you want to do that?
    Clapping his hands over his ears would not be good in public, and if he left the service . . . That did not bear thinking about. Think about something else. Lord, please protect Astrid and those with her. The nasty voice snuck in. You think you have a right to ask God to do something for you when you hate some of His children?
    Lord, I thought I was beyond this. I even gave Pastor Solberg some money for the first shipment of assistance to this Indian tribe. I thought I knew how to forgive. Why am I back in this situation? I know . . . it’s Astrid. Before it was just giving money, but now part of my heart is down there. Only in the quiet of the church service could his mind sort through his feelings like this.
    He heard the first chords of the next hymn coming from Dr. Elizabeth on the piano. He’d done it after all – made a complete fool of himself. He picked up his guitar and joined the music, feeling what he knew to be red heat flaming up his neck.
    By the end of the service he just wanted to stalk off across the prairie and keep on going. They played the closing hymn, and after Lars gave the benediction, they segued into the medley of songs they’d chosen and practiced.
    “Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked as she closed the lid on the piano.
    He nodded, not daring to meet her gaze, which he could feel clear through his skin.
    “You know, if you ever need to talk to someone, a doctor is a pretty safe listener.”
    He could see the question marks in her eyes, so he didn’t give her a direct answer, responding with a question instead. “How is Linnea coming with her piano lessons? Will she be able to play with us one of these days?”
    “She’s doing well, but learning a guitar is far easier. She is amazing, though. While she is