A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing Read Online Free PDF Page A

world. A dying world. Please don’t to me or catch her floating on the stairway. Reaching out. Howabout stigmata instead? Worse though you’d never go to school again or look at my hands in case I see it. The Holy Spirit’s in me. Not a punishment. It’s a gift. No not like the violin. Any eejit can do that. I feel it aching in my palm but when will the blood burst? Now please Jesus or not at all. Lickety lips of the praying wouldn’t mind if I was one. But they’d all like it for their children. A visionary born from me? You’ll only be able to tell the seasons by the trees Malachi prophesied or Colmcille. And they say the last secret of Fatima is destruction of the church. The Vatican won’t say either way because that’ll be the end of days. Gulp this. But we’ll know anyway from Medjugorjie the day before. Shiver I purple terror high in my throat. The dead will knock your window. Deadly bony spirit hands. They’ll beg for you to save their souls. Open the latch they cry. You will not. Can not. You must turn from them. Away. Shut the curtains. Light a candle and pray for your salvation while the apocalypse blows your door. And if they plead they love you, so much the worse for their souls. Those poor souls howling. Sucked into the forever night. Will you save us Mammy? I’ll say easy children close your eyes for this world is coming to an end. But Mammy it scares me. Well better behave yourself then.
    They pray to God and pray and pray for God’s sake to be saved. They’re swaying rolling. Palms out rigid. Letting in the Holy Spirit. Come and make our lives a perfect sacrifice to thee. Russians blowing up the world. Pray for them. For all the Chinese going to hell. For the black pope that’s the last one. Him as well even if he’s next. I nudge. Could Satan be talking through? No. There’s holy water eejit and not much terror in you. You are filling with redemption. But I am for it. Me and my sins. Listen as they do it speaking loud in a thousand tongues. Could Germans understand it maybe French? Sounds A la la ka leash a na to me.
    But when they go and it is night I’m a bit heart stopped. Gives chest hurt fright. Make the sign of the cross and I’ll be fine. You’ll be got because you drew on Christ, dirty thing. No if I die before I wake I pray to God my soul to take God bless you me Mammy Granda and Granny and don’t let the end of time be tonight. You say thank you god for being so good and are not afraid of the dark.
     
    If it’s summer before the sun goes down I sometimes leg it from the holy joes. Mammy I have to go toilet and go and run hand-washed to stare into the sun. That’s a good job. That’ll make me a strong one. I heard three times makes you blind. But mine’s in secret so I stare fine for it won’t ever blind me. God holy holying you though. He might be some kind of saint. They have never met your like. Manys a mother would’ve given up hope. Her arm on your shoulder. Her gentle stroke your head. I don’t know where I’d be without him.
    I’m just bit on the wild, bit of a pup. Nothing interesting to prick a curate. Not like Hail Mary’s you say as well as Glory be. For fun Father and the souls in purgatory that they be saved – he said to me – now where did he get that but God?
    Still. I can leg it down the drain. Inside under Jesus I make my dash out in the rain. Slap mud sandals. Slap mud all up my socks. I’ll skid it. Scutter it. Holding thistles for fairy soup or foxgloves bad luck teacher calling giddy goat or I will tell your mother you were saying shite. Making out curses and people die. I can. Being magic. Saying fucker Christ. Into the fields. My bad words best collection. All the things my mother never taught me. To shit in a field or run in from the rain. So I knew it always then and do it all the time. Oh crouch. Dock leaf. Plopped. True I could be killed for that. Such elicit outdoor. And a white one too. Should not have been licking chalk. I couldn’t