self held her breath waiting for the magic of her dream world to sweep her into ecstasy.
But, it never came.
Confused, Casey struggled toward wakefulness, annoyed but not surprised by the thumping headache. She'd slept badly since the holdup, and she'd spent a lot of the weekend analyzing her reaction to it. It felt slightly ridiculous that a holdup that she'd barely been aware of could affect her so significantly. She'd started to wonder just how self-centered she really was. First, the friends she couldn't let go, and now, the holdup where she needed to be center of attention but didn't really have a valid reason.
Shit.
She pulled the woman in her arms closer to her, nuzzling her neck like she'd done so many times before in her dreams, the sweet scent of vanilla reaching her senses.
Vanilla?
Confusion clattered through her brain even when she opened her eyes.
Emma, her sweet Emma, curled in sleep and pressed against Casey's front. Startled, Casey went to move back, but the strong arms wrapped around her from behind tightened their hold, and a low, rusty voice spoke soothing nonsense into her ear.
"Jase?"
"It's okay, babe. You had a bad nightmare last night. We came to help." The familiar, yet unfamiliar, sound of that sleep-roughened voice sent desire skittering through her body, and she didn't quite suppress the contented sigh that escaped her.
Jason's quiet, rumbling laugh tickled her spine as she pulled Emma closer to her, kissing the top of her head.
"You love her, don't you?"
The denial sprang to her lips, but she was so close to actually living her fantasy that she couldn't voice the lie. She nodded, her head gently bumping the underside of his chin.
"You should tell her."
She nodded again even as words tumbled from her mouth.
"So should you. I've seen the way she looks at you. She loves you, you know?"
Jason's muscles stiffened, and she wondered why he would be surprised. Twisting awkwardly, she tried to get a better look at his face without letting go of Emma. It proved impossible, so she settled for asking.
"Why are you so surprised? Surely you've seen the way she looks at you."
She could feel Jason trying to slow down his breathing, and he swallowed before he spoke.
"She looks at you the same way." His arms tightened around her before he took a deep breath and relaxed his grip slightly. "Do you think…that maybe…she loves us both?"
"Wouldn't that be wonderful?" The words whispered out of her mouth before she could stop to think of the implications of such a confession.
* * * *
Jason tried to hide his reaction, a whirlpool of emotions and questions zipping through him. Would it be possible for them both to love Emma? Even if Casey didn't love him, surely he would still have her in his life. But, would it be right to live such a blatant lie? Probably not. No matter how seductive the temptation was to hide behind the illusion. He needed to be honest, needed to put it all on the line.
All or nothing.
His courage faltered for a moment, his chest squeezing painfully against the understanding of all he could lose.
"I love Emma, that's true, but," he held Casey still as she tried to turn in his arms, "but, I love you too."
"You love me?" The question was so quiet, spoken in such a small, tight voice, that his stomach cramped painfully as he forced the words passed his teeth. Hell. All or nothing was beginning to look like he would end with nothing.
"Yes, babe. I love you, and I love Emma, and I think of both of you as mine. I dream of homes and families and watching you both swell with my babies." He bit off the rest, unwilling to burden her more with his futile dreams. She lay very quietly in his arms, and it took a moment to realize she was crying.
"Awww, hell, babe, I'm sorry. I know it's impossible. You love Emma. I get that, I really do, and I want you both to be happy. I'm sor— oomph ." The sharp elbow was so unexpected he felt the impact clear to his toes.
"Don't you dare take