A Flawed Heart Read Online Free PDF Page B

out. And it wasn’t like a little kiss, it was truly
intense. I would have let him rip my clothes off if we hadn’t been interrupted.
I’ve never wanted a guy like that before. I’ve never met anyone like Jason before. I’ve never experienced that level of
desire. My body gets hot remembering how he smelled, how he tasted, what he
said—but it wasn’t just a physical connection. We revealed our pain to each
other. It was so intimate…
    I have to try to get this guy out of my head. I can’t let myself behave like
that again.
    I
decide to go to the YMCA and have a swim in the pool. I throw my things in my
gym bag, and dress in track pants and a hoodie. I slip on my new yellow rain boots
and grab my umbrella.
    The streets are busy with people commuting to work. The rain
is light, but steady. I walk to the Southside following the directions Lydia
gave me to the Y.
    I walk past the weight room and treadmills to the pool. Inside,
I go to the locker room and change into my racer-back one piece, lock my things
up, and grab a towel. I find two other people at the pool, one blonde girl
drying off, and a very fit guy with a swim cap on. I step down the ladder, wet
my cap and force my hair into it. As soon as swim I feel better. I take about
twenty laps and the muscles in my shoulders and legs work as the water rushes
around me. Everything fades away.
    When I get out of the pool, the fit guy is drying off. We
make eye contact, and he smiles. I smile back, then head out of the pool back
toward the locker room and past the treadmills. I think I recognize someone,
but that’s impossible. Only it’s not. The shirtless guy running on the
treadmill who has caught my eye is Jason. I don’t want him to see me, but I can’t
look away. His face is red from the pace of his running and he glimmers with a sheen of sweat. He has his ear-buds in, and when I see his
tattoo-covered chest my mind flashes to last night…his body pressing into me,
his mouth on mine…
    He sees me. He blinks as if his eyes are playing tricks on
him, and begins to slow the treadmill down. In a panic, I turn and half run out
of the gym. I don’t bother opening my umbrella as I hurry down the sidewalk.
    When
I reach my building, I turn around to face him—only he’s not there. He didn’t
follow me. I feel relieved and disappointed, all in the same moment.
    Upstairs, Kat is alone listening to some soft music and
sketching in a notebook. “Hey, Claire,” she calls, “You want to come get some
coffee?”
    “Yeah, that sounds great. I just need to shower really fast.”
    “Okay, take your time.” She turns her attention back to her
work.
    I was hoping the swim would calm me down, and it did, until
I saw Jason. I wish I hadn’t run away. I should talk to him about what
happened, but I’m far too nervous. I can’t trust myself around him. After
dressing, I slip on my trusty, ugly, yellow rain boots. Kat has a purple pair that are slightly less dorky than my bright
yellow ones, but really no one looks good in these things. I miss my flip
flops.
    We head over to the café and chat about Jason’s show last
night, but I don’t share how he and I went at each other like lust driven
fiends outside the bar. Kat has a really chilled out vibe to her, and being
with her is helping calm my internal frenzy. There’s a long line wrapped around
the tables in the center of the café. People my age are working behind the
counter, which reminds me I need to get a job. I vow to make a serious effort
before this weekend.
    The café is painted red with an exposed brick wall, and there
are several large windows facing out onto the street. Paintings, which appear
to have been done by local artists, decorate the room. Kat and I pass the time
by people watching. I feel the earth stop when I recognize a couple sitting by
the far window. It’s Jason and Skye .
    He’s still wearing his gym clothes, and she has sunglasses
on in spite of the rainy weather . Her arms are folded