A Fairy Tale of New York Read Online Free PDF

you wanted to acquaint yourself with that sacred craft I'd be glad. But I'd like you to be a front of house man. With maybe the occasional assist in the studios.''
    "The occasional assist. Holy cow, Mr Vine.''
    "It may surprise you Mr Christian but it is that part of my work in which I take the greatest pride not to mention as I wouldn't do to most people, pleasure. I would not insist if you found it a source of disquiet. The real nature of your duties here would be to tend to the grief of the bereaved. To dispense the small kindly formalities and understanding so necessary when a family convenes at the abyss of death. I know you've got the sincerity. I know you've got the culture and the elegance of demeanor. It's all in you Christian."
    "How much do I owe you. Mr Vine."
    ''That is not a question you need to ask.''
    "But how much do I owe."
    "Four hundred and eighty six dollars and forty two cents. Including tax."
    "O boy."
    "Mr Christian that is not a problem. And you don't have to take it like that."
    "How do you want me to take it. That plus one hundred and eighty six dollars I owe the shipping line is nearly seven hundred dollars. How can I ever pay."
    "Now listen to me Mr Christian. I've told you once before and I'll tell you again. I don't cut cash out of no one. This is one business where most people pay their bills. Call it superstition but people don't like to owe on the death of someone near and dear. And if they were near and not so dear they're even gladder to pay for their elimination. So I'm not hurting with a cash shortage and I'm not asking you to pay up. You've got time. Plenty."
    "How long."
    ''Six months. More if you need it. Free of interest.''
    "Eighty six dollars a month.''
    "Eight one Christian, eighty one dollars and seven cents."
    "Any day someone is going to track me down from the shipping line.''
    ''There is no problem about an advance on salary.''
    "I 'd be socially ostracised.''
    "I would be less than candid if I did not admit people don't trip over rugs making a rush to shake hands to get to know you. And many friendships are cut adrift. But you'd be surprised at some of the deeper relationships you can make in this profession. It was how I met my wife. Searching for a shade of lipstick at a drugstore counter. That's a fact. I was an apprenticing mortician. She asked me what color hair and eyes I was trying to match. I had just picked up a box of bicarbonate of soda she dropped. She responded by pointing out the shade. It was one I would have picked myself. We walked outside together. She had the bluest eyes and the whitest skin. I told her what the lipstick was for. She was a little shy but then she understood. We went right back into the drugstore and had two raspberry sodas. I still remember the sound of our feet together on that porch. She had the kind of ankles you'd find on an angel. Seven months later we niarried. I feel just as close to her in death.''
    "Mr. Vine."
    "Call me Clarance, spelt with an a. My step parents called me Tobias but I was named Clarance at birth. Just excuse me I've forgotten to tell Miss Musk I've changed a musical selection. Miss Musk, in suite four, the Ricardo family I think needed something faster in tempo but I think it's time now before closing the casket to slow it down. Ok. Thank you. There's an instance Mr Christian of the delicate decisions which constantly must be made. I feel that you would ably carry out such responsibilities."
    "Mr Vine I wouldn't know what tune to call for someone's funeral."
    ''Please, call me Clarance. I 'd like that if you would.''
    ' ' Until I pay my bill I 'd just feel better calling you Mr Vine.''
    "All right if that's the way you feel.''
    Vine's eyes glittering in the soft yellow lamp light. His finger pushes the switch of the intercom up and down. The throb of faint solemn melodies. Neat tiny knot of his black tie tucked tightly up to the stiff collar. Bed strong neck which he turns and twists. I'd be out in front of his