A Calculating Heart Read Online Free PDF Page A

Why?’
    ‘Nothing that need worry you. It’s my problem, I’m afraid.’ A pause. ‘I – I need to talk to someone about it. Which is why I’m ringing you. Have you got an hour or two to spare at the end of the day?’
    That was where Anthony had hesitated. He’d toldhimself not long ago that he wanted nothing more to do with Leo, that that was it, finished. But …
    ‘Yes, I suppose so.’ He hardly knew why he said it.
    ‘Thanks. I’m at home at the moment. I’ll come into chambers around seven, if you don’t mind hanging on till then. I don’t particularly want to see anyone else.’
    That had been the end of the conversation.
    Anthony moved away from the window and paced around again. He knew in his heart that he should have said no. How was he ever going to make good his resolution to dissolve the relationship if he was so instantly willing to sit down and discuss Leo’s personal problems with him? He wasn’t sure he cared to know about any of Leo’s problems, anyway. They usually signified the messing-up of other people’s lives. The trouble with Leo’s fatal attraction was that everyone who got involved with him ended up getting hurt. He himself was no exception. It seemed that four years of the best, the most intense and stimulating friendship he had ever known with another man, had been wrecked by a combination of his own naïveté and Leo’s cruelty. Staying the night at Leo’s, letting Leo make love to him – he had thought it signalled some transition in their relationship, a step towards something secure and lasting. What a fool he’d been.
‘It’s only sex, Anthony.’
He recalled Leo casually tapping his cigar on his case before lighting it, narrowing his eyes against the smoke, throwing away the words. Throwing away Anthony’s very heart, destroying his belief in Leo. Muscles inAnthony’s stomach tightened reflexively as he steeled himself against the memory. He was only one in a long line of victims, after all. No big deal, no big surprise. How long did Camilla think she was going to last? Another nice bit of footwork on Leo’s part, moving in on Anthony’s ex-girlfriend when he knew he still had feelings for her … That was one good reason to leave 5 Caper Court. The place was becoming incestuous, emotionally claustrophobic. But there, too, was another instance of his own vacillation. Having made up his mind to leave and find a tenancy in another set of chambers where he wouldn’t have to see Leo every day, here he still was, undecided. It was pathetic. He hated himself.
    If he’d had any sense, let alone strength of purpose, he would have told Leo to stick his problems, find some other fool to lay them off on – Sarah, for instance. She was always eager and willing where Leo was concerned. But an unquenchable part of him longed to see Leo, to be for just a little while the sole focus of his time and attention. That was the real reason why he’d said yes. In spite of everything, it pleased Anthony to be needed by Leo. He reached out to his computer, saved the work he’d been doing, and shut it down. Better go and rustle up a newspaper and find out more about this problem, whatever it might be.
    On the way downstairs he ran into Jeremy Vane, a senior member of chambers, a loud and self-important individual for whom Anthony didn’t care a great deal.
    Jeremy stopped him. ‘Heard the latest scandal about Leo, have you? Got himself splashed all over the front of the tabloids-some woman who tried to top herself on his account.’ Jeremy thrust fat fingers into the tight pockets of his waistcoat. ‘Whole thing’s bloody ghastly. Doesn’t reflect at all well on chambers.’
    Anthony’s mind reeled a little at this information, but he managed to reply, ‘I shouldn’t imagine it’s doing Leo a lot of good, either.’ What woman could this be? Knowing Leo, one of many. It must be pretty grim if it had made the front pages.
    ‘Man’s only got himself to blame. The kind of