A Bird on a Windowsill Read Online Free PDF

you like, a thing or something with Rylan Tennessee?”
    She looks at me, almost accusingly. “Rylan and me?”
    Damn . Hearing his name roll off her lips just like it’s her own name is like pumping poison straight into my blood. I just want to stop it before it ends up killing me.
    I don’t even wait for the answer I already know. After all, I just witnessed it.
    “Since when?” I ask, impatiently.
    “Since last weekend,” she says. She adjusts her weight to her other leg and bows her head. I know she’s trying to hide her smile.
    I try not to puke in my mouth.
    “Okay,” I say, in total disbelief. I can feel my eyes burning. I squeeze them shut until I can’t feel the burning anymore. “Okay,” I say again, and then I leave her there. I don’t say another word. I just turn and walk away.
    “Eben.”
    I stop.
    “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
    My eyelids instinctively fall over my eyes, and slowly, I find myself turning back toward her.
    “I, uh...”
    I stop. And my eyes catch on hers.
    “I just wanted you to know that I’m still looking for your star tower.”
    A soft, guarded smile takes over her face. “Oh, really?”
    “Yeah. I think I might be close.”
    Her warm eyes focus on mine for just a moment, and I get lost in them—for just a moment—until I just can’t bear it anymore. And then I turn away.
    “Eben.”
    I stop, but this time, I don’t turn around.
    “Is everything okay?”
    “It’s fine.” I sigh to myself. “It’s fine.”
     

     
    I t’s funny how a picture of a moment can just be frozen in your mind. For the next few days, I had that picture of her and “the one we won’t speak of” plastered in my head, running on some kind of spinning wheel. Over and over again, it was just her and him. Her and him laughing. Her and him getting too close. Her and him whispering stupid stuff into each other’s ears. Over and over again.
    But the days came, and the days left, and eventually that picture turned over in my mind less and less. It still hurt the same, but it was easier to manage, I guess. If she was happy, I’d have to be happy for her...or at least, act like I was. After all, I was still her best friend, and according to her, that wasn’t going to change. And for that, I loved her, and at the same time, hated life. But that’s what you do when you love someone, right? You let them go?
    Shit .
    That advice is nothing but horse shit. Who came up with that?
    When you really love someone, you don’t let them go—mostly, because you can’t. Nature won’t allow it. But also, because you just don’t. If I learned anything from my grandpa, I learned that you don’t give up on people—especially girls. Now, you might put your life on hold, wait for cool-guy-swagger-model boy to screw up—which he will, eventually—and for her to come back to you. But you don’t let her go. If you love her, you don’t let her go.

 
     
     
     
    Chapter Seven
    Salem 
    (Sixteen Years Old)
     

     
     
     
    Day 4,015
     
    “H i, Eben.”
    I look up, and Savannah is sitting across from me.
    She looks kind of sad.
    “What’s wrong? Did he do something?”
    I sit up straighter and clench my fists, just as her sad look turns questioning.
    “No.” She shakes her head. “No.”
    “Then what is it?”
    She grabs the extra carton of chocolate milk from my tray, and I watch as she tries to open it. Every time. Every time she touches a little milk carton, she can’t help but tear it to pieces trying to get into it. I usually watch until she starts getting really frustrated; it’s kind of fun.
    “Here,” I say, taking the carton from her hands.
    I easily open it from the side she didn’t mangle. And then I set it back down in front of her.
    “My dad got a job in South Carolina.”
    “South Carolina...?”
    “Mount Pleasant. It’s by Charleston.”
    I feel my eyebrows start to come together.
    “Is he going to take it?”
    She nods.
    “So, your dad is going to