A Beautiful Struggle Read Online Free PDF Page B

the guy, I took him in. He had beautiful brown curly hair and dark brown chocolate eyes. He was pretty tall and really thin, but he had on a tank top so I could see he had some muscle and definition to him. Looking lower, he was facing away from us, so I got a look at his ass. It was small, but it was… cute. It had a little meat to it and I just wanted to take a bite out of it.
    I didn’t want to drool all over the gym floor , so I quickly swallowed and looked back at Ash. I didn’t have to say anything, because from the look on her face she knew exactly what I was thinking.
    Smiling , she asked, “Why don’t you go over and talk to him?”
    “He’s with some smokin’ hot chick. They’re probably dating.”
    Tilting her head to the side , she looked at the guy and girl and pursed her lips. Looking back at me, she said, “I don’t think he’s with her. Like that, I mean.”
    “Uh , oh well, what can I do?”
    Ash patted me on the shoulder , then she grabbed an unopened bottle of water and handed it to me.
    “Thanks.” Untwisting the cap, I brought the bottle to my lips and poured the cold water into my mouth and down my throat, trying to cool myself. After drinking half the bottle, I put the cap back on and placed it beside me on the floor. Ash had this look on her face. “What?”
    Shaking her head from side to side , she waved her hand. “Forget it.”
    I stilled her waving hand in mine. “What, Ash?”
    Scrunching her eyebrows together and biting on her lip , she took in a breath. Letting it out, she said, “Have you told your family?”
    My heart dropped. I hadn’t. I didn’t even know how to start that conversation. It would probably go something like:
    “How’s school been?”
    “Good. So I’m gay.”
    I mean logistically speaking , how do you tell your parents you’re gay? How do you even start off the conversation? And what if they don’t accept you?
    A million thoughts starting running through my head and I got lost in all of the questions I was asking myself. But I was calmed when I felt Ash’s hands take mine.
    Looking down at our intertwined fingers , I looked up at my best friend and saw a smile on her face. I wanted to say something but I just couldn’t form words. Turns out I didn’t have to.
    “Whenever you’re ready I’ll be there with you ,” she said.
    I could feel tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe how accepting Ash was. It really was a beautiful thing, but I knew not everybody would be like that once I told them who I was.
    I’ve struggled my entire life with who I really am and what society thinks is “acceptable.”
    I felt tears running down my face. I whispered thank you to Ash.
    I could see tears in her eyes . Slowly smiling at me, she said, “I’ll always be here for you, Derrick, no matter what happens.”
    I couldn’t take it anymore. Breaking free of her hands, I pulled Ash onto my lap and hugged the crap out of her. Ash was the first person I told about who I really was and she accepted me with open arms. I just hoped my family would do the same.
    Wrapping her arms around me , she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “I love you, Derrick.”
    Getting little butterflies in my stomach , I hugged her even tighter. I swallowed the lump in my throat and barely managed to whisper back, “I love you, too.”
    Holding onto each other for a few more seconds , we slowly started to untangle ourselves from each other. I was done talking about me today so I asked, “So, Jason?”
    Shrugging her shoulders , Ashlynn said, “Maybe he’s just not into me like that. I mean, we’ve known each other for so long. We get along really well but maybe we aren’t meant to be anything other than friends.” Pursing her lips, she said, “I don’t know. I mean, I tried, but he’s going out with that Christy bitch, so what can you do?”
    Letting out a defeated breath , I shook my head. “I don’t know, Ash. I know that boy likes―”
    “Please , Derrick. Let’s just