itself of what it most desired beyond hope of recovery, when immediately at your bidding I changed my clothing along with my mind, in order to prove you the sole possessor of my body and my will alike. God knows I never sought anything in you except yourself; I wanted simply you, nothing of yours. I looked for no marriage-bond, no marriage portion, and it was not my own pleasures and wishes I sought to gratify, as you well know, but yours. The name of wife may seem more sacred or more binding, but sweeter for me will always be the word mistress, or, if you will permit me, that of concubine or whore. I believed that the more I humbled myself on your account, the more gratitude I should win from you, and also the less damage I should do to the brightness of your reputation.
I beg you, think what you owe me, give ear to my plea for a word from you, and I will finish with a brief ending:
farewell, my only love
ED. AND TRANS. B. RADICE, EPISTOLA (1974)
âPROVIDE YOUR SERVANT-GIRL WITH COMFORTâ
Hildegard of Bingen was respected by many churchmen in the twelfth century for her preaching and her visions. In 1141 she felt commanded by God to record her mystical visions. However she needed support and here writes to the authoritative Bernard of Clairvaux, currently preaching the Second Crusade.
1147
Reverend Father Bernard, the great honours you have attained through the power of God are a source of wonder; you are truly to be feared by the lawless folly of this world. Under the banner of the Holy Cross, you draw men in exalted devotion, burning with love for the Son of God, to do battle in Christâs army against the savagery of the heathens. I beg you, Father, through the living God, to listen to me as I question you. I am greatly troubled by this vision which has appeared to me through the inspiration of divine mystery. I have never seen it with the outer eyes of the flesh. Wretched as I am (and more than wretched in bearing the name of woman) I have seen, ever since I was a child, great miracles, which my tongue could not utter had the Spirit of God not shown me them so that I might believe. Most true and gentle Father, answer in your goodness, your unworthy maidservant. For never, since I was a child, have I lived an hour free from care. Provide your servant-girl with comfort from your heart.
For in the text, I understand the inner meaning of the exposition of the Psalms and Gospels and the other books which are shown to me by this vision. The vision touches my heart and soul like a burning flame, showing me these depths of interpretation. Yet it does not show me writings in the German tongue â these I do not understand. I only know how to read the words as a single unit â I cannot pull the text apart for analysis.
So tell me please what all this seems to you to signify â for I am someone untaught by any schooling in external matters (though I have been taught within, in my soul), so that I speak, as though in doubt. But having heard of your wisdom and your holiness, I know that I will be comforted. For I have not dared to tell these things to anyone (since I have heard that there are many schisms in the world) except to a certain monk whose conduct in the community won my approval. To him I revealed all my secrets and he did indeed reassure me that these were great and worthy of reverence. Father, for the love of God, I want you to comfort me, and I will be certain.
Two years ago, I saw you in this vision as one who looked into the sun without being frightened â a truly brave man. And I wept because I blush so deeply and am so timorous.
Noble and most gentle Father, I depend upon your soul. Make it clear to me, if you will, through this exchange, whether I should say these things in the open or maintain my silence. For it costs me great pains to say what I have seen and heard in this vision. Yet, because I have kept silent, I have been laid out by this vision all this time on my bed, in