776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Read Online Free PDF Page B

said this before he was indicted.
On Dogs, Sparking:
    Sir, it requires only a spark to let slip the dogs of war.
    Lord Hartington, Duke of Devonshire, leader of the Liberal Unionists, during a debate on the critical state of relations between Russia and Turkey in 1877
On the Draft:
    I did what any normal person would do at that age. You call home. You call home to mother and father and say, “I’d like to get into the National Guard.”
    Dan Quayle, then Republican vice-presidential candidate, defending his National Guard service during the Vietnam War
On Dualism, Human:
    None but himself can be his parallel.
    Louis Theobald, eighteenth-century English critic, famous collator of Shakespeare, and author of
The Double Falsehood
On Dublin, Ireland—The First Jewish Mayor of:
    It could only happen in America.
    Yogi Berra
On Drugs, How to Fight Abuse of:
    Now, like, I’m President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know? … I bet if they did, I hope I would say, “Hey, get lost. We don’t want any of that.”
    President George Bush talking about drug abuse to a group of students
On Drugs, How to Fight Abuse of:
    … casual drug users ought to be taken out and shot.
    Daryl Gates, Los Angeles police chief, telling the Senate Judiciary Committee what should be done with casual users of marijuana and cocaine

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On Earth, Problems With:
    The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a great planet.
    contestant for Mr. New Jersey Male, when asked what he would do with a million dollars
On Economists, the Infallibility of:
    In all likelihood, world inflation is over.
    the managing director of the International Monetary Fund in 1959
On Economists, the Infallibility of:
    There may be a recession in stock prices, but not anything in the nature of a crash.
    Irving Fisher, economist, six weeks before the 1929 crash
On Economists, the Infallibility of:
    Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
    Irving Fisher, economist, in a speech made nine days before the 1929 crash
On Economists, the Infallibility of:
    The depression has ended…. In July, up we go.
    Dr. Julius Klein, Assistant Secretary of Commerce, in a speech given on June 9, 1931. The following year, 1932, is generally considered the worst in the Depression.
On Education in New York:
    There were allegations a number of students at schools in Brooklyn may have been involved in having some knowledge, particularly about social studies and possibly English.
    Samuel Polatnick, executive director of the Board of Education’s Division of High Schools (1975)
On Elections, Necessity of Voters for:
    Minnesota voters played a major role in the victory of that state’s gubernatorial primary elections yesterday.
    National Rifle Association press release
On Electric Chairs, Traveling:
    Folks read about the electric chair, they hear about it—but those folks with criminal minds don’t care about the law. But if they see that chair moving down the highway, it may save a life.
    Georgia State Senator Ronnie Walker on the need for a traveling electric chair that would traverse the state for county executions
On Eloquence:
    [President Carter] speaks loudly and carries a fly spotter, a fly swasher—it’s been a long day.
    President Gerald Ford, in a speech during the 1976 presidential campaign
On Emphasis:
    [I will] put down my foot with a strong hand.
    overheard at a shareholders’ meeting
On Emptiness, the Fullness of:
    In a few weeks it had been found out that this promise was full of emptiness.
    W. Brodrick, Lord Midleton, British statesman who served in various posts including Secretary of State for War for India in the early 1890s
On English:
    If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for me.
    a congressman to Dr. David Edwards, head of the Joint National Committee on Language, about the necessity for a commercial nation to be