776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Read Online Free PDF

storage tank not as
swimming pool
.
    internal State Department memo, U. S. Embassy, Vientiane, Laos
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    You know, your nose looks just like Danny Thomas’s.
    President Ronald Reagan to the Lebanese Foreign Minister, during a briefing on the realities of the Middle East conflict
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    Some of them have marvelous minds, those black people over there.
    Director of the United States Information Agency Charles Z. Wick, after a 1983 trip to Africa
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    Why thresh old straw or beat an old bag of bones?
    Senator Everett Dirksen of Illinois, annoyed with attacks against Clare Boothe Luce and her nomination to be ambassador to Brazil, during a Senate debate. He quickly added that “old bag of bones” was not a reference to Luce.
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    Look, I’m going to tell you something, hon. You’ve crossed and uncrossed your legs twice and one time you showed me something I shouldn’t see. Now am I going to complain that you’re loosey-goosey or you got no class?
    U.S. ambassador-nominee to Italy Pete Secchia to a female reporter from the
Detroit News.
He was later confirmed as ambassador to Italy.
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    This is a great day for France!
    President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle’s funeral
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    I didn’t know that guy was a nigger.
    Senator James Eastland to his aide after welcoming Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, reported in
New Times
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    German President Heinrich Lubke, on the tarmac in his role as official greeter in 1962, trying to say “How are you?”:
    Who are you?
    President of India:
    I am the President of India.
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    The only thing I regret is that your stay is not shorter.
    Lord Aberdeen, trying to make a good impression while being visited by the colonial Premier to Ireland in the autumn of 1911
On Diplomacy, Great Moments in:
    If I never get to Mexico again, it wouldn’t bother me. I don’t like the food or the climate.
    Dan R. Eddy, Jr., member of the Texas Good Neighbor Commission, a state agency charged with promoting Texas-Mexico good relations
On Diplomatic Treaties, Similarities with Rice Dishes:
    The treaty has to be concocted to satisfy all tastes. One prepares the seafood, the meat, the chicken, and the rice, but they are just an assortment of separate dishes until they are blended into perfect unity, and the result is paella—or a treaty for all.
    Bernardo Zuleta, secretary general of the United Nations Law of the Sea Conference
On Directions, Giving Clear:
    Yogi Berra (on the phone to a lost Joe Garagiola):
    Where are you?
    Joe Garagiola:
    Some guy says to tell you I’m at the library.
    Yogi Berra:
    Oh, you ain’t too far, just a couple of blocks. Only don’t go that way, come this way.
On Directions, Giving Clear:
    Separate together in a bunch. [And don’t] stand around so much in little bundles.
    director Michael Curtiz to movie extras
On Directions, Giving Clear:
    Everybody move helter … and skelter.
    director Michael Curtiz to extras
On Directors:
    They always bite the hand that lays the golden egg.
    movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn
On Disasters, Natural and Political:
    This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected.
    California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood
On Distinguishing Characteristics:
    … the deceased had an impediment in his speech.
    mayor in Estremadura province, Portugal, giving tips while announcing a search for a drowned man
On Diversity:
    We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, I have a woman, two Jews and a cripple.
    James Watt, Secretary of the Interior, referring to an advisory group in his agency
On Divine Callings, Modern:
    It’s not listed in the Bible, but my spiritual gift, my specific calling from God, is to be a television talk-show host.
    James Bakker, televangelist, PTL Network and Heritage USA founder. He