51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style Read Online Free PDF Page B

itchin an pullin an tryin to poke them back in again. Mr Big thought this was brilliant, like. He was sittin facin me, starin at my tits jigglin about the place.
    Then I was gettin nervous a bit about meetin his ma, an he said to me, ‘Margaret, stop biting your lip – you know how it makes me hard.’
    Then I just decides to give him a little taster of what’s to come after our meetin with his mum an dad, an I gives him a sexy wink with my right eye. An he just smiles at me so I winks with my other eye an he smiles again. So I shoves my feet up either side of him on the seat an winks with my ‘special’ eye an his face is a picture – shock or what?
    Then I said to him, ‘Whaddabout a quickie in the khazi?’ So we shuffled down the train til we got there an it was like an upright coffin. The size of it! But I slid in an whipped my skirt up to reveal the Muff, an his eyes nearly popped out. So he squeezed in too an locked the door. We were like two horny sardines. Then he shifts me up on to the sink an gets out the tripod. An with the vision of that stickin out of his chinos an the bumpin of the train, I was soakin.
    So he winged his train into my tunnel an my arse was fillin the little sink that I’m sittin on. Then just as I was thinkin, I hope this thing doesn’t collapse, my arse cheek shifts an turns the tap on. So I’m gettin rid from one end an splashed from the other end. An then I flung my arm out to steady myself an I turned on the hand-dryer. So at least the noise of that drowned out my yells. So after he finishes, he gets cleaned up an zipped up, an then he looks at me an I said to him, ‘It’s all right, I’ll just drip-dry, babe.’ An I know he wants me again but then we’re pullin into the station an we have to go. So we got off the train an into a taxi, an I bit my lip the whole way to his parents’ house, just to wind him up.
    Then we got there I nearly died. It was like somethin out of Cribs – all big an cream with hangin baskets an a welcome mat. I was expectin Mariah Carey to waltz down the steps in a thong an high-heels at any minute. Not the kinda place you drop your fag ash, or tramp dog shit into the carpet. Then we went inside an the hallway was bigger than my whole flat! There was a big fancy staircase an marble floors an I thought to myself, holy shit, we aren’t in Kansas now!
    Then his mum came down the stairs dressed like Joan Collins in Dynasty an she comes right up to me, shakes my hand an said, ‘Margaret. Lovely to meet you.’
    If she’d known where that hand had been ten minutes ago, she wouldn’t have been touchin it. Then I saw her lookin at my tits an I looked down an I said to myself, oh fuck those nips are like two upside-down cones. Then his dad comes in an I went weak at the knees. He’s a bit like James Bond an I thought to myself, Now I wouldn’t mind a sandwich with junior at one end, senior at the other end, an me in the middle. The name’s Big. Samuel Big. Double-dick-heaven. An then, like any man would, he zoomed into the tits an I’m sure he had a semi. So we shook hands an I bit my lip at him, but he didn’t jump on me or anything.
    So his mum took us into the dinin room an it’s like the Mad Hatter’s tea party – buns, cakes, teapots, triangle sandwiches with the crusts off, the lot. Goin for tea in my mum’s house is a crisp sandwich, a fag an a bun from the bakery for afters. So I got stuck into the grub while gettin questioned by them all. Mr Big senior asks me about my ‘parents’ an I tell him that my mum’s on the sick now with her nerves, but that she used to be a dinner lady. Then he asked me what my dad does for a livin an I said to him, ‘He died when I was a baby’ Well, I wasn’t about to say I hadn’t a Scooby Doo who my dad was to those people. Then I cursed my mum for making me make up shit about my