31 Dream Street Read Online Free PDF Page A

yellow stain on one of her front teeth.
    She read magazines with exclamation marks in the titles and insisted on regaling him with titbits of gossip about so-called celebrities he’d never heard of.
    She did only one wash a month and would then drape and festoon every radiator in the house with the entire contents of her wardrobe, leaving Toby in the position of having to stare at her (surprisingly unpretty) knickers while he ate his dinner.
    She thought classical music was boring.
    She thought literary classics were boring.
    She thought Radio Four was boring.
    She thought staying in was boring.
    And she thought, more pertinently, that Toby was boring.
    She told him all the time, ‘God, Tobes, you’re sooo boring,’ whenever he tried to broach a subject that was in any way serious or important or even slightly domestic in nature.
    She laughed at his clothes and his hair and cupped his bottom, occasionally, through his jeans to tease him about his lack of padding in the buttock department.
    She was awful, really, in so many ways. An awful girl. But, God, so beautiful and, God, so amazingly talented.
    ‘Under the bed?’ she suggested.
    ‘What?’ Toby snapped out of his reverie.
    ‘Maybe that’s where his cat lives.’
    ‘Oh. Right. Yes.’
    She fell suddenly to her hands and knees, and adopted a position that put Toby in mind of one he’d seen on the Internet last night. He glanced at her denim-clad behind as it swung from side to side like a searchlight.
    ‘Oh, my God. I don’t believe it.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘ Hello ,’ she whispered to something under the bed. ‘ Don’t be shy. It’s OK .’
    Toby stopped staring at her bottom and joined her on his hands and knees.
    ‘Look,’ she pointed into the corner. ‘Over there.’
    Toby blinked and a pair of eyes blinked back at him. ‘Oh, my God.’
    They managed to coax the little creature out by shaking its food bowl and making lots of silly noises.
    ‘That’s the smallest cat I’ve ever seen in my life,’ said Ruby, watching it crunch delicately on nuggets of Science Diet.
    It looked like a slightly insane illustration of a cat. It had a gigantic head and a tiny body and stringy black fur. It looked like it might be even older than Gus. Toby’s natural instinct was to pet the poor animal in some way, but there was something about the dandruffy look of its coat and the way its bones stuck out of its flesh that put him off.
    ‘I can’t believe he kept a cat in here all these years,’ said Ruby. ‘Why did he keep it secret?’
    ‘Lord knows,’ said Toby. ‘Maybe the old landlord didn’t allow animals in the house. Maybe he thought I’d make him get rid of it.’
    ‘Tragic, isn’t it? Like a little runt or something.’
    ‘Terrible-looking creature.’ Toby tutted and shook his head.
    ‘Oh, but quite cute in a funny sort of way, don’t you think?’
    ‘Not really.’ Toby stood up and stretched his legs. ‘What the hell are we going to do with it?’
    ‘I don’t want it,’ said Ruby, recoiling slightly.
    ‘Neither do I.’
    ‘We’ll have to get rid of it.’
    ‘What – kill it?’
    ‘ No! ’ Ruby looked at him aghast. ‘Give it to a home. Or something.’
    ‘Oh, God,’ Toby sighed as yet another job added itself to the list of Things He Had To Do Because Gus Had Died. He’d already spent an hour on the phone this morning trying to track down Gus’s great-niece, who’d moved, it seemed, about ten times since Gus had last spoken to her. He’d then somehow found himself offering to host a ‘small drinks party’ after Gus’s funeral the following week which would be hideous, absolutely hideous. Next, he had to find a new tenant for Gus’s room, which would probably necessitate a full redecoration as he doubted that anyone under the age of sixty would have the slightest interest in the 1970s boarding-house look Gus had created in here. And now he had to do something about this odd little cat that Gus had been hiding in his room