1980 - You Can Say That Again Read Online Free PDF Page A

I had all the girlfriends I needed when I had been making money. With thirty thousand dollars in the bank, I would only have to whistle.
    ‘Now that we have your wholehearted cooperation, Jerry,’ she went on, after a pause, ‘I want to tell you about Mazzo.’ She spent a moment fondling the poodle. ‘I really don’t know what I would do without Mazzo. His appearance is deceptive, but there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me . . . nothing.’
    I looked blankly at her.
    ‘You have already met him. Mazzo is my loyal and true servant who brought you that delicious meal that I had ordered specially for you.’
    I gaped at her.
    ‘You mean that — that Ape of a man?’
    She patted her poodle.
    ‘You mustn’t speak unkindly of Mazzo’s looks. No one can be as handsome as you, Jerry. Mazzo is going to be your constant companion, Jerry. He will help you in many things. Without him by your side, I don’t think you would succeed in impersonating my son. For years now, Mazzo has been my son’s bodyguard. When you are seen together, it will be assumed you are my son.’
    The thought of having that Ape as a constant companion gave me goose pimples.
    As I was about to protest, she went on, ‘Changing the subject, Jerry, have you ever met Larry Edwards?’
    ‘Why, sure,’ I said, surprised by the question. ‘Why do you ask?’
    I certainly remembered Larry Edwards. He was like me: an unemployed bit-part actor. We often met at Lu Prentz’s office, both hunting for work. We hadn’t much in common, as both of us wondered if one of us would get a job the other was hoping for, but we did have an occasional beer together and moaned about our hard times.
    ‘I was just wondering. He was rather like you in appearance: tall, dark,’ Harriet said, smiling. ‘He hadn’t your personality, of course. We did consider him for the job you have now accepted. In fact, we brought him here and discussed the idea with him, but he wouldn’t cooperate. He raised all kinds of difficulties. I am so very glad you aren’t going to be difficult, Jerry . . . so very glad.’
    I stared at her, feeling a chill move over me.
    ‘You are talking about him in the past tense,’ I said.
    ‘Yes . . . sad.’ She rose to her feet. ‘I’ll ask Mazzo to bring you some books. Please tell him what you would like for lunch.’ She made for the door.
    ‘What’s happened to Larry?’ I asked, my hands clammy.
    She paused at the door.
    ‘Oh, didn’t you know? He had an accident. Something wrong with the brakes of his car, I believe.’ Her dark blue hard eyes fixed me. ‘He’s dead.’
    The door slid open and she was gone.
     
    * * *
     
    An hour later, the door slid back and Mazzo came in, carrying a number of paperbacks. These he set on the table.
    ‘You want something to read?’
    This was the first time I had heard his voice and the sound startled me. It was husky and soft whereas I expected a growl of a bear.
    ‘Thanks,’ I said.
    He stalked over to the chair Harriet had been sitting in and sat down. He grinned at me, showing small white teeth a rat might envy.
    ‘We’re going to live together, palsy, so we may as well get acquainted, huh?’
    ‘Why not?’
    He nodded his shaven head.
    ‘There’s nothing to it, palsy, so long as you do exactly what I tell you to do. It’s dead easy money, but don’t ask with the questions. I tell you to blow snot, you blow it. Get it? I tell you to look left, you look left. Get it? I tell you to look right, you look right. Get it? I tell you to run fast, you run fast. Get it?’
    ‘You have made your point,’ I said.
    He wrinkled his forehead.
    ‘You mean you get it?’
    ‘I get it.’
    ‘Okay. The other jerk didn’t get it.’ He lost his smile and looked like a tiger regarding a prospective meal. ‘Too bad for him.’
    My mouth turned dry.
    ‘I heard he had a car accident.’
    ‘Sure . . . jerks like him often have car accidents.’ He smiled at me. ‘You’re smart, palsy. You won’t have a