1951 - In a Vain Shadow Read Online Free PDF Page B

out of sight, then went to the guest room door, turned on the light and had a look around. I wanted to see what I was missing.
    It wasn’t anything to rave about, but streets ahead of the room he had given me. At least the bed looked comfortable.
    There was running water and a toilet basin and the furniture was something you could live with if you weren’t too fussy.
    I laid a bet with myself. I’d be sleeping in there tomorrow night.
     
     

chapter four
     
    W hen I entered the dining room and saw the long refectory table I knew for certain I was with the money. It only needed this lavish display of food and glittering silver to clinch it. Maybe a Jew doesn’t care how he dresses or lives, but if he can help it, he will never neglect his belly.
    The table was groaning with good things to eat.
    Sarek paused in his task of carving a chicken that looked like a small turkey.
    ‘Sit down. You like chicken all right?’
    ‘I like anything, and that certainly looks good to me.’
    ‘My wife she is a fine cook.’
    ‘She must be.’
    I dragged my eyes away from the chicken and looked around. The room was long and narrow and shabbily furnished.
    A pile of blazing logs burned in the big open fireplace, either side of which stood two well-worn easy chairs. The inevitable coconut matting covered the floor.
    ‘Sit down then.’
    ‘Anywhere?’
    He pointed with his carving knife.
    The table was set for three. The third place, mid-way between the head and end of the table, had been laid as if under protest. The knife and fork, and spoon and fork and the serviette had been dumped there in a heap as if whoever had put them there had intended me to know I wasn’t wanted.
    ‘Here?’
    ‘Is right.’ He saw me looking at the dumped cutlery. ‘The wife she was a little rushed.’
    As I sat down he handed me a plate. He had said he wanted me to be happy. From the look of the plate he meant it. He had given me enough for two starving men.
    ‘Looks good.’
    He beamed. I could see food was very close to his heart.
    ‘One of fifty. I get them cheap. Three bob a dozen, day-olds. The wife she rear them on hot-water bottles.’
    ‘You mean you’ve more like this one?’
    ‘Fifty. We got geese too. You like goose?’
    ‘I certainly do.’
    He was thoroughly enjoying himself, and when he looked as he was looking now I almost forgot he was a Jew.
    ‘Nothing like goose. Maybe we have goose for Saturday dinner, hey? We eat well here.’
    ‘Best dinner I’ve seen in years.’
    Then the door opened and she came in.
    I’ve often thought about that moment. I have had all kinds of moments: good, bad, exciting, funny and happy moments.
    But this moment was like none of the others. It was the moment, making anything else that’s ever happened to me as colourless and dull as a cold in the head. One look at her was enough. Just one quick look turned my insides to stone and filled my head and chest with blood.
    As bad as that. Just to look at her was like walking into a sucker punch; like turning on a lamp and getting 200 volts up your arm. One moment I was about to enjoy a chicken dinner without a thought of a woman in my head, and the next, when I saw her, I was seething inside like an animal.
    Except for her shape and her eyes, she really wasn’t much to get excited about. She was small, compact and a copper head. I’ve never seen such hair: real copper colour; thick and wavy and silky. She had big green eyes, a thin, rather pinched face and a sallow complexion. Her mouth was soft looking and her lips thick. There were dark smudges under her eyes that could have meant anything. She had on a green sweater and black slacks. The slacks were dusty and the sweater grubby.
    Six out of seven men would have passed her by without a second glance, but I had to be the seventh. There was something she had that touched of the thing in me and set me on fire. I can’t put it better than that. There isn’t any better way of putting it. Just one look