10 Things to Do Before I Die Read Online Free PDF Page A

“But in the future, just ask my permission, okay?”
    I couldn’t answer. I’d lost the ability to form Words. Luckily it didn’t matter. Before I could nod or even grunt, she pounced on me.
    And What ensued—
    It Was great, of course. It defied description. (Well, I could describe it, but personally I think that getting into the nitty-gritty of a fervent make-out session is in poor taste.) Yet at the same time, I Was a little sad. I couldn’t help glimpsing the future.
    It’s true. I saw it all. I saw how things Would change between us. I saw the end of the Guitar Tuning Flirtation. I saw that if I had to ask permission every time I Wanted to kiss her, I’d Want to hide from that—hide in anxiety and embarrassment—so I’d start making up lame excuses to avoid Rachel Whenever I could, despite everything else I liked about her. I’d start hanging out at the Circle Eat Diner again. I’d hang out there more than ever. Yes, I’d slink back to the very place Where I spent so much time daydreaming about having a girlfriend, and I saw that my life Would come full circle … and maybe I even saw myself sitting there With Mark and Nikki on that glorious first day of spring break, knowing that Rachel Would never, ever, grant me permission to lose my virginity to her, no matter What.

That Dickhead, Billy Rifkin
    “Look, man, I’m really not feeling Well,” I mumble to Mark. “I have to split.”
    “Five more minutes, Burger,” he insists.
    I shake my head and clutch my belly. Maybe it Was the near-death experience or maybe it Was Leo’s last batch of fries, but I’m on the verge of barfing.
    “Two more minutes,” Nikki bargains, seizing my arm again.
    “We’ll speed up,” Mark promises. He leans over the napkin. “So, after you’ve taken care of business …”
    2. Jam With Shakes the Clown
    “Of course!” Nikki cries. “You’re a genius, sweetie! Ted, you’re their number one fan. They practically know you.”
    “Well, actually, I’m just on their mailing list. A thousand people are on their mailing list. Probably more. But—”
    “Whatever.” Nikki Waves her hands. “The thing is, We should figure out a Way for you to meet them. Or better yet, play for them! You know? So you can blow them away With your guitar!”
    “We should do even better than that,” Mark says. “We Will do better than that.”
    He Wriggles his eyebrows and scribbles down task number three in such large, bold letters that I can read it upside down across the table:
    3. PARTY With Shakes the Clown
    “Now, that’s What I’m talking about, Burger!” he shouts. “Partying like a rock star!” He slams his fist on the Formica, rattling the plate and silverware.
    Nikki nods at me. There’s a strange, Wistful sparkle in her eyes. It looks as if a tear might fall, as if she’s thinking: Oh, our little Teddy is going to party like a rock star. I’m so proud.
    Ironically, I’m getting a little teary, too—but only because my allergies have started to act up. This is puzzling. My allergies (dog hair, cat hair, et cetera) never bother me inside the climate-controlled, grease-saturated environment of the Circle Eat Diner. All right. Something is definitely Wrong With me. My body is protesting for some reason. Maybe it’s an aftershock from the Leo incident. Maybe it’s some sort of psychosomatic reaction. Whatever the reason, the discomfort has migrated from my stomach to my sinuses. I have to go home. As soon as possible. ASAP, as my parents like to say. As in: “Ted, put that guitar down and get in here ay-sap!”
    “What’s the matter, Ted?” Nikki asks.
    “Mmm,” I groan. “Not … feeling … Well. I really—”
    “I got it!” Mark cries. Then he grins. “Number four. Revenge!”
    “Revenge?”
    “Burger, you gotta get back at that dickhead, Billy Rifkin!” he yells at me. “Remember Billy Rifkin? That punk skate-rat? The dwarf With the mop-top haircut? Remember in the sixth grade When he stole your