04 - Shock and Awesome Read Online Free PDF Page A

hobby."
     
          "Like belly dancing and Krav Maga aren't crazy enough?"
     
          "When done together," mused Lily. "I'd like to see that."
     
          "Call my mother. She loves you. Don't tell her about the bar though."
     
          "Why not?"
     
          "She'll really get on my case about running my own business."
     
          "Tell her it isn't the right economy."
     
          "I told her Solomon needed me."
     
          "Did you tell her you played the naked bump and grind with Solomon?"
     
          I blushed, a rare reaction for me. Hot, followed by cold, raced through my body. Of course, that could have been because of my hand fastening on a bar of cooking chocolate. Good enough. I tore the wrapper open and jammed a square into my mouth. "No," I squeaked. "I have to go. I have to... do anything but think about this! Thanks for helping!"
     
          "You're so not welcome," said Lily. "What are you eating?"
     
          "Nothing. Chocolate. Cooking chocolate. Oh crap, I think I accidentally ate half of it already."
     
          "That's okay. You're a PI. You're allowed to eat crap."
     
          "What a cliché. I'd rather have a salad but I'm all out."
     
          "Do you want to get a takeout cheeseburger? I think the baby wants one."
     
          "Sure, why not? I'm hungry and I don't have anything in the fridge anyway."
     
          "Plus, it'll stop you eating all that chocolate."
     
          "Too late. Anyway, like a cheeseburger is better?"
     
          "It has cheese," said Lily, but I wasn't sure if that was her argument. She sounded a little confused too. "And we can eat it at my bar."
     
          "Is there alcohol?"
     
          "No. Plus, I'm not drinking and out of solidarity with me, neither should you. Jord isn't drinking either."
     
          "I'm pretty sure I saw him in O'Grady's three days ago having a beer with Garrett."
     
          "That bastard! He put the baby in me so I can't drink. He has no right to enjoy himself!"
     
          "Maybe it was a soda," I backtracked, wondering if I should point out that wasn't why Jord put a baby in her. I was pretty sure he didn't intend to leave a lifetime souvenir so early in their relationship at all; but I didn't think that would go over well.
     
          "In O'Grady's? Hey, maybe we should go there instead and get their cheeseburger with a stack of fries and onion rings."
     
          My mouth watered as I looked at the empty chocolate wrapper. Dessert first... how novel! "Okay," I agreed. "But only because I want to prove that I'm not a cliché."
     
          "By eating a cheeseburger?"
     
          "By not refusing it because I care about my weight, ergo, I am a normal woman, and um, because I do eat a lot of salad and maybe it's a healthy cheeseburger from cows that ate grass and, uh, nice things."
     
          "And because you're totally hungry?"
     
          That too. "I'll be at your door in five."
     
          "Minutes?"
     
          "Seconds."
     
          I insisted on driving, partly because I was being nice, and partly because it meant Lily couldn't complain when I insisted on cruising past my favorite residence in Montgomery: the pretty, yellow bungalow with a neat yard. It was picture-perfect cute and today, as for many years, I was dying to look inside. I should have taken the opportunity while it was for sale months back.
     
          "I'll always love this house," I told Lily. We were parked a little way down the road, and Lily filed her nails while I gazed lovingly at the bungalow.
     
          "You're going to cheat on it with an ugly place, aren't you?"
     
          I gave Lily a sharp look and sniffed. "Maybe," I said, "This place has never been sold and there's not another one like it in town. I know. I've been looking."
     
          "Maybe you could get another bungalow and just paint it yellow. Paint on, paint off, or whatever Mr. Miyagi said,"