03 - Three Odd Balls Read Online Free PDF Page A

sandals I had owned in decades.
    I mumbled something about when in Rome.
    “Trust me, Babe,” Louise said. “No Italian woman in her right mind would be caught dead in those.”
    “But they’re perfect for Adelé Nightingale,” my mother insisted as Bee Bee leaned over to take a gentle poke at the daisy petals. “Just her style. Speaking of which, Louise and I have been discussing My South Pacific Paramour .”
    “Excuse me?”
    “Don’t you remember, Jessica? Tessie and I are here to help you.” Louise waved her glass on front of her eyes as if conjuring up a plot. “Delta Touchette and Skylar Staggs are in for some fantastical adventures! Beyond fantastical!”
    “You always think of such clever names,” Mother told me. “And it’s clever of you to try something tropical, what with us being in the tropics ourselves.”
    “Tessie and I are picturing a King Kong theme,” Louise said.
    “King Kong, King Kong.” Bee Bee liked the sound of that.
    “But with no King Kong,” Mother elaborated.
    “King Kong, King Kong.”
    “So let me get this straight.” I scowled at the bird. “We have a King Kong theme, but with no King Kong?”
    “Mm-hmm.” Mother nodded. “But of course, we should begin with Delta Touchette, who has just arrived in the South Pacific at the behest of her spinster aunt. Auntie Whoever owns a large estate on one of the islands. She has lived there, without the benefit of husband or family, for decades.”
    “Delta has never actually met this Auntie person,” Louise continued, and Bee Bee hopped over to the arm of her lounge chair to hear more. “She has, however, corresponded with her for years. Much to the consternation of Delta’s frightfully conventional parents, Auntie Whoever is the girl’s role model.”
    “Delta just adores her Auntie,” Mother agreed. “The adventurous life she leads, far from the confines of stuffy old England, has always intrigued her.” She jiggled the ice in her pink drink. “Delta has always dreamed of visiting her Auntie Whoever.”
    “And let me guess,” I interrupted. “The last letter from Auntie,” I hesitated, “Auntie Eleanor—hinted at some sort of danger on the island?”
    “Exactly, Honeybunch! How did you know?”
    “King Kong,” I answered. “So Delta,” I sat up a bit and got into the groove, “yearning for adventure, left stuffy old England behind and embarked on a journey to the South Pacific. And at long last she arrived at the port of…the port of Mekipii Hui, on the island adjacent to Auntie Eleanor’s.”
    I sipped my drink and contemplated Delta’s dilemma. “But she had a most difficult time finding someone to sail her over to… to Ebony Island—that’s her Auntie’s island. Alas, all of the local skippers refused to assist her. They were vague as to why, but the lovely and courageous Delta surmised they were afraid of Ebony Island. Indeed, she even overheard the word monster mentioned once or twice!”
    My mother and my agent shook their heads. “Amazing,” they said in unison.
    “Amazing,” Bee Bee echoed the sentiment.
    “But Delta finally did find someone to take her?” Mother asked.
    “Skylar Staggs, of course.” I glanced down at the Pele’s Melee in my hand. “These drinks are starting to grow on me,” I admitted.
    Mother giggled. “They’re a bit stronger than the champagne you usually have.”
    I cleared my throat. “Of course, there were instant sparks between Skylar and Delta on the journey over to her Auntie’s island. All was going well until a terrible, terrible gale kicked up. Oh, it was treacherous, indeed. Our lovers were barely able to keep Skylar’s boat afloat and were tussled about dreadfully.” I sighed dramatically. “They fell into each other’s arms just as the waters calmed. And of course, one thing has led to another.” I stopped and let the imaginations of my literary agent and most loyal fan fill in the blanks.
    “So there’s your first sex scene!”