You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny Read Online Free PDF Page B

of
Architectural Digest
—a leather couch and several low-slung chairs arranged around a modern coffee table at the other end of his huge office. An immense contemporary painting dominated the wall. I had never been in a place quite so intimidating, with perhaps the exception of the principal’s office when I was grilled over my possible involvement in some prom-night shenanigans. I was petrified and sat silent and wide-eyed. Mr. Ovitz laughed and said, “You look scared to death, white as chalk. Just relax.”
    Right. Every one of your employees whom I have spoken with says that you’re the “most powerful man in Hollywood.” It’s just a wee bit intimidating
.
    For thirty minutes he asked questions in the verbal equivalent of italics and exclamation marks. He did not seem much interested in my answers. My heart sank when he asked about my driving record and my ability to drive in the snow (apparently, the family frequently found itself in Aspen). For now let’s just say that driving is not my strong suit. I stumbled a bit over that answer, but he didn’t seem to care that my reply was not what you would want to hear from a prospective employee, especially one who would be entrusted with the safe transport of your precious children. He seemed most interested in his next question. We talked for several minutes about nanny school, as he had never heard of such a thing. He seemed to find the whole idea amusing. “What exactly do they teach you in nanny school?” he asked, becoming even more amused when I attempted to answer him. Once more I fumbled for words while he watched, grinning slightly. Later I came to believe that Michael was most comfortable when others were not. He seemed to enjoy seeing people crumble into nervouswrecks in his presence. So my terror during the interview must have just made his day.
    Of course, when he invited me for a follow-up interview at his home, he made mine.
    I would soon learn that CAA was one of the largest talent agencies in Hollywood. I didn’t really know what agents did, but I quickly discovered that they negotiated with the studios in exchange for a percentage of their clients’ earnings. As I had glimpsed at the office, their clients were the most well-known actors, directors, screenwriters, musicians, and authors in the industry. Martin Scorsese. Demi Moore. Julia Roberts. It was widely known that CAA had enough pull to get clients the most lucrative contracts.
    Cofounder and president of the agency, Michael had the most pull of all. He had invented an entirely new kind of agency, one that relied on packaging—putting together stars, writers, and directors into one bundle and offering it to a studio as a whole take-it-or-leave-it proposition. He had enough leverage that most studios were forced to take it.
    He was also credited with pioneering a new way of doing business. Poaching, or stealing other agencies’ clients, had been rare before he came upon the scene, but Michael made it commonplace. (Legend has it that Michael had lured Dustin Hoffman over to CAA by offering to work for free.) He and his black-suited cohorts, who worked tirelessly and tended to be business school graduates and lawyers, were both dedicated to their clients and quite ruthless in getting what they wanted. I would later hear that one of his prized clients, screenwriter Joe Eszterhas—who earned millions for screenplays like
Flashdance
and
Basic Instinct—
claimed that when he was moving to a rival agency (ICM), Michael told him, “You’re not going anywhere. You’re not leaving this agency. If you do, my foot soldiers who go up and down Wilshire Boulevard each day will blow your brains out.”
    Probably best that I didn’t know about his legendary vindictiveness when I was considering moving into his home.
    When I pulled up to the curb near the Ovitz driveway, I saw four luxury vehicles sitting alongside a very exotic-looking black sports car. A man walked out of the house, who I’d later