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we got to go to Sea World before it opened to the public, which was a real treat. It was especially sweet seeing Harvey with the dolphins. They say that dolphins have an affinity with kids with disabilities and there was something really special about seeing Harvey with them. I really felt as if he was making so much progress. I know that I came across as a bit of a moaner in that episode, but I am wary around water ever since I had a panic attack as a teenager while I was swimming. I had been a very good swimmer and swam for my county. I would train three times a week and all I remember about the panic attack was that one moment I was swimming then suddenly I felt as if I was being dragged underwater and was going to drown. I was powerless to do anything. The lifeguard had to dive in and rescue me. My legs were numb and it felt as if they were paralysed. You don’t forget something like that and as a result I now find it really frightening to be out of my depth or underwater.
    I also have a real problem with the cold. I swear I’m not being a diva, I actually experience a burning sensation if I get too cold. As a result, when I put on the wetsuit and got into the water, which may have felt warm to everyone else but felt freezing to me, I just couldn’t enjoy the experience of swimming with the dolphins. I was too busy thinking, ‘Get me out of here!’ And when Pete and I got to go in one of the massive aquariums and saw all the tropical fish, I was rigid with cold and anxious about being underwater. All the fish in all the colours of the rainbow weren’t going to change that! Everyone who knows me understands that I have a problem with cold. At home I’m constantly turning the thermostat up and driving everyone else mad as they are roasting hot. It’s like a never-ending battle where they turn the thermostat down and I whack it up again.
    We also got to re-visit the location of I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! where we’d met four years earlier. We couldn’t go into the camp as another series was being filmed, but we got to walk along the bridge that leads to it and went down some of the tracks. It was quite emotional going back there. So much had happened to us as a couple since then, but this was where our relationship had started. Just being back there brought back so many memories of meeting Pete for the first time: how I had fallen so deeply in love with him, being desperate to be with him, knowing he was the one for me. I didn’t want to show how deeply I felt as we were being filmed. That was one of the times when I wanted five minutes on my own with Pete, without the camera on us. I would have liked to tell him then how I felt about him and how much I still loved him. It would have been a really special, private moment, just for us. But it didn’t happen. Then again, if we hadn’t had the camera crew with us we probably wouldn’t have been allowed to go there anyway, so I suppose it works both ways. Of course, I had no idea that in a little under two years I would be back, appearing in I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! on my own, a broken marriage behind me . . .
    There were so many positive things about that trip, but when I looked back at the episodes filmed in Australia it did feel to me as if a big deal had been made of one particular row Pete and I had. It was at the opening of his night club in Cairns, and it was the same old story of how Pete didn’t like me to have a drink because he thought I became a different person then and he couldn’t trust me. I’ve talked about it before in my other autobiographies, and four years on it was still an issue between us. He was worried that I would get drunk and end up cheating on him. I think he was maybe remembering his own past when he went out clubbing. ‘I know what drunk girls are like, Kate,’ he would tell me, ‘I know how easy they are.’
    ‘That must be the kinds of girls you went with, Pete, because I’m not like that,