You Have No Idea: A Famous Daughter, Her No-Nonsense Mother, and How They Survived Pageants, Hollywood, Love, Loss Read Online Free PDF Page B

York, who always made me feel great each time I stepped onto the stage, was there in full force.
    My name was called in the top ten on stage. As Miss New York, I was ready to do it all again live. I walked onto the stage in my ivory gown and introduced myself to the audience. I said that my goal was to one day have a successful career on Broadway. Later, I belted out “Happy Days Are Here Again” and strode onstage in my white one-piece. I felt great and confident. There was no pressure. I’d won these competitions already, so this was for the camera—and it was fun.
    Suzette Charles, Miss New Jersey, also sang a Barbra Streisand song, “Kiss Me in the Rain.” She had an extraordinary voice and she was also of color (her father was Italian and her mother was black). Even though I’d won swimsuit and talent, Suzette was a pageant pro and this was her hometown. She had been Little Miss New Jersey in the Little Miss America pageant; she sang in the Atlantic City casinos and had been on shows like Sesame Street and The Electric Company as a little girl; she was the hometown sweetheart. I knew that if she won, I’d be runner-up. I’d hug her, congratulate her, and then head off to London. That was the plan.
    Gary Collins, the pageant host, announced the runners-up—fourth, third, second—and my name wasn’t called. Then… first runner-up: Suzette Charles.
    This could only mean one thing.
    “Six of the brightest and loveliest young women in America are standing on our stage,” Gary said. “One of them will be the newMiss America and the winner of a twenty-five thousand dollar scholarship. And our new Miss America is… Vanessa Williams!”
    As Debra Maffett, the 1983 Miss America, put the rhinestone crown on my head, I thought, There goes my junior year abroad in London . The applause thundered and ricocheted off the tin roof as I walked along the runway, smiling, waving, and thinking. Some said I strutted down the runway. What happens next? I had no idea. I had no idea that I’d be traveling twenty thousand miles a month, changing locations every twenty-four to forty-eight hours. I had no idea that in a few weeks I’d be dining with the president and first lady. I didn’t know anything yet. I just knew I wouldn’t be taking a plane to England.
    It was a strange feeling to be the center of such a big event but to feel so detached. I had no emotion—I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t there.
    I just smiled and waved, smiled and waved.
    I went to the end of the runway and turned. Then I made my way along the platform toward the New York delegation. It was the last stop of my winner’s walk.
    The clapping and hooting and hollering were louder and more intense there than anywhere else in the room. There was a whole bunch of my family—my mom, dad, and brother; my aunts and uncles; and my grandmother, plus a lot of other relatives and friends. A big group had rented a bus and taken it from Buffalo. They were all standing up and clapping like this was the greatest moment of their lives. They were going crazy. I swear, through the din I could hear my dad—who always clapped the loudest and the longest. The excitement brought me out of my trance and snapped me back into my body. That’s when it hit me: Wow, this is a big deal. A huge deal.
    Up until that moment I was just going through the motions. I hadn’t thought about what it meant.
    I was Miss America. The first black Miss America.
    I’d made history.
    It was thrilling. It was unbelievable. It was crazy.
    It was also scary… but I didn’t know that yet.

    On the front of Vanessa’s birth announcement there’s a drawing of a smiling baby girl wearing a big crown and holding a scepter.
    It reads, “Here she is—Miss America. She’s also known as Vanessa Lynne.”
    I had searched the aisles of the local Hallmark store until I found the perfect card. I bought it because it was cute and funny. I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would also