Written in the Stars Read Online Free PDF Page B

wanted to run out the church and far away but then I’d fallen and forgotten and I’m so glad . I’m safe now. I have Adam. I glance around to check that Kieran hasn’t returned, trying to quieten the pounding of my heart that seems intent on giving me away. Why was he there? What could he possibly hope to achieve by turning up after all this time – and at my wedding? When he was the one who left and didn’t come back? I want to know, but equally, I’m frustrated that I’m thinking about him. I’m married. When I made my vows I resolved to put him out of my mind, to focus on the here and now – but he remains stubbornly in my head.
    I walk across the lawn towards Adam, who is standing in front of the lake surrounded by a group of guests. My body is here but my brain is drowning in memories. I stop and hold on to a tree before I faint again. I’m trying to calm my breathing, to prevent the panic attack that I can feel rising up through my body. I look at the clear, tranquil water of the lake glimmering in the spring sunshine and try to remind myself that nothing has changed.
    Kieran’s gone and no one knows my secret. And hopefully no one ever will.
    ‘There she is! Come here, my beautiful, perfect wife!’ Adam calls, and waves.
    I pause, take a deep, calming breath and then I let go of the tree and with a smile on my face I walk slowly towards my husband, my wedding dress threatening to trip me up with every single step.
    I’m standing on the lawn sipping tea from a china cup in what I hope is an elegant, ladylike way, a string quartet playing behind me as I hold court with some distant family of Adam’s.
    ‘Yes I am very lucky, yes of course I know what a catch he is! Why did it take me so long to say yes? Er . . . well, you know a girl has to be a hundred per cent sure these days, ha ha!’ I can tell from their expressions this is the wrong answer. ‘No, seriously, the truth is it was just very hard to find a gap in Adam’s diary.’ They nod sagely at this. They understand how busy and important he is, his whole family does. ‘And,’ I continue, ‘I didn’t want a long engagement so I kept him hanging on until I knew we could marry as quickly as possible.’ I pause. ‘Couldn’t risk any other girl getting her hands on him!’
    They laugh along with me and I smile brightly before making my excuses and walking away. They’re happy that I’ve given them a funny but believable reason for my indecision that is far preferable to the truth: that I just wasn’t sure before.
    I’m gagging for a glass of champagne and a proper chat with someone who actually knows me. To be honest I’m still feeling embarrassed and shaken by what happened during the ceremony. Not just about falling over, but what – no, who – precipitated it.
    Despite the vast swarm of guests I’m surrounded by I suddenly feel incredibly alone. There is only one person I can talk to about what happened in the church.
    ‘Milly,’ I hiss as a goddess in gold glides past me, holding two glasses of champagne aloft. ‘You, me, in the Portaloo now!’
    ‘You saw who ?’ Milly gasps and looks down at me in horror.
    I’m slumped on the toilet, skirts held aloft by Milly, white lace knickers down by my ankles, and clinging on to my champagne flute as I self-consciously try to empty my bladder (and my conscience) before my best mate.
    ‘Kieran Blake.’ I whisper his name quietly in case anyone else has come in.
    ‘Former breaker of your heart?’ Milly hisses.
    I nod.
    ‘The guy who swept you off your feet for a single summer and then nearly destroyed your life, leaving me and Loni to pick up the pieces? The one who watched his own brother die because of his own stupid recklessness and left you to carry the guilt?’ I close my eyes. ‘He was here? And that’s why you fell when you came down the aisle?’
    I nod again.
    She narrows her eyes. ‘So, how did you feel?’
    I look at her and then down at my feet guiltily. ‘Like I