Wrestling With Love Read Online Free PDF

point. That would certainly ruin our first time. But if we’re going to wait, you’ve got to stop making me go up and down like a flag on a pole. You’ve given me at least five hard-ons today alone.”
    20
    D.H. Starr

    Wrestling With Love
    Disappointment filled him. Not only did Scott withhold physical affection except for when they were alone or with Beck, but he was holding off on the sexual connection which Derek had been hungering for throughout the summer. He had masturbated more times than he could remember to the image of tasting Scott’s cum as it shot directly into his mouth, rather than licking it from his hand. And each time he imagined the two of them making love, Scott always on top, he had to take a cold shower just to be able to make a public appearance
    As if he sensed Derek’s mood, Scott took his hand and brought it to his lips. “I love you, D. You know it’s not that I don’t want to share intimate experiences with you, but we’re only a couple of weeks away from being at college together. We’ll be living together and have all the time in the world to do everything we want without having to worry about being interrupted or found out.”
    The last words caught his attention. “Found out?”
    Scott released his hand and placed it over his own eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way and you know it.”
    “Then how did you mean it?”
    “I just meant…all I was saying…why do you always pick this fight with me? I’m not ready for people to know I’m gay. If I were, do you think I’d keep us a secret? I love you, but you have to understand I can’t force my feelings.”
    Derek knew he was right, but his stubbornness prevented him from letting go of the argument. “What if I don’t know how you feel? If you really loved me, wouldn’t you want the world to know?”
    “Come on. You don’t really believe that, do you?”
    Derek stared at him, ready to continue arguing, but one look at his earnest expression and the genuine emotion flowing toward him melted his resolve. He knew Scott loved him and he knew just as equally that wanting to keep his sexuality guarded was no indication of his feelings for him.
    “No. I don’t.” Staring into Scott’s sincere and loving eyes, Derek knew the time was perfect. “Be right back.” Hopping up, he gave Scott a quick peck on the cheek and ran to his bag. When he came back, he excitedly extended his hand which contained the white envelope with Scott’s gift. Scott’s crinkled brow and cocked head clearly revealed his confusion and caused Derek to laugh. “I finally got you your graduation present. I hope you like it.” Handing the envelope over, he sat on the edge of the chair, waiting expectantly as Scott turned it over in his hands.
    Scott sat up. “Derek, you didn’t have to do that. I know you said you felt bad about not getting me a graduation gift, but you shouldn’t have. I told you at your graduation party that your love was the greatest gift you could give me. Just being with you and knowing that you’re there for me is better than anything you could give me, especially since I’ve moved around so much in my life.”
    Scott’s father had been transferred several times as he had grown up, forcing him to constantly make new friends and never knowing how long he would remain in one 21
    D.H. Starr

    Wrestling With Love
    place. It was touching that he felt that Derek’s consistent friendship and love were good enough for him, but, Derek knew Scott would love this gift. “Just open it.”
    He opened the envelope and pulled out two tickets. Reading them, his head snapped up and he gaped at Derek. “I don’t believe it. You bought Howie Day tickets? They’re for next week in New York City. Are you serious? Thank you. I wonder who I’ll take.” Derek shot up to his feet. Scott stood and hugged him. “I’m just kidding. Of course we’re going together.”
    Derek relaxed in Scott’s arms as he always did whenever Scott touched him.