Josh would have made sure she couldn’t, but he knew she needed that little bit of security to get through what she was about to say, so he allowed it just this once.
Hugging her knees to her chest, she wouldn’t meet his eyes as she spoke, taking more interest than needed in the pattern of the comforter. “I-I was woken up by something and when I opened my eyes I found Alana standing at the bottom of the bed,” she stuttered, then sped through as quickly as possible.
She hiccupped again and still refused to look at him. “She told me that I didn’t deserve to be in your bed spreading my stench all over it.”
Tears started flowing more heavily again and she sniffed, trying to hold back the snot. Josh abruptly stood and walked in to the bathroom, stopping Sidney in mid-explanation. He returned seconds later with a roll of toilet paper. He tore off a long piece and handed it to her. She blew her nose hard, then clutched the soiled tissue in her fist.
“Please continue, “Josh said in the most soothing voice he could muster at the moment.
She nodded, “She said it didn’t matter because when you were done using me for your sexual pleasure, you would kill me.”
Josh felt himself pale at this, knowing that she thought the same way Alana did, that this was just a means to take what he wanted from her, and then he would destroy her.
“Then she said that she hoped you would let her kill me as a wedding present—when you two mated.”
Josh almost laughed at the thought of Alana thinking she was even worthy for him to mate with her. But he didn’t think that would have been a good idea at the moment.
“She sat at the side of the bed and pulled the covers off me. She grabbed my stomach fat and squeezed really hard, saying she didn’t know what you saw in all my disgusting fat.” Sidney rubbed her stomach, as if she could still feel Alana’s hands squeezing her.
Josh wanted to rip Alana’s hands off for touching his mate.
She stopped talking for a long while, as she started to sob some more, hiccupping, unable to catch her breath. Josh rubbed her arm where it was wrapped around her legs, and waited for her to calm down.
Moments later, the sobs went back down to sniffling and silent tears, and she blew her nose again. He took the tissue from her and threw it in the wastebasket next to the bed, and then tore off another long strand of toilet paper to hand to her.
Thanking him as she took it, she started where she left off. “She said she wanted to mate with you while I watched so I would know that I am nothing to you.”
He saw the tremors get worse and he wanted desperately to reach out and pull her to him again. It took all his will power to not to do just that.
“Sh-sh-she said she would have you fuck her in front of me. Then after you two claimed each other, you would both rip me to shreds, feasting on my flesh while I still lived, so I would feel the pain the whole time.”
Her sobs came again, and Josh finally decided he didn’t give a shit about giving her space. He yanked her into his arms and held her tightly, while she wailed in his arms. He expected her to fight from his grasp, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on to him as if her life depended on it. Josh’s heart broke for her, as he realized that at the moment—it did.
“She said you loved her taste and went down on her as much as possible.”
At that, Josh couldn’t help the snort that came out. Alana’s pussy always smelled and tasted horrible to Josh and he avoided going near it with his mouth and nose at all costs. Even when he was desperate and needed to fuck, he always used a condom with her, sometimes he contemplated using two, and he always made sure to get off as quickly as possible then he'd shower right after.
Sidney looked up at him when she heard his snort and their gazes clashed. Josh couldn’t let her think that he even for once was laughing at what happened to her, “I never went down on Alana.