Winter Rose Read Online Free PDF

She won’t die just cause you slept in your own bed.”
    He looks away, into the fire. “She told me she feels better when someone’s close.”
    “It doesn’t have to be you.”
    “Well, it is.” He leans his head back against the wall.
    The way he’s dismissing me makes the irritation rise. “Why’re you still here?”
    He closes his eyes, like he didn’t hear me.
    “You can leave, you know. We don’t need you.”
    “You do.”
    I scoff. “Excuse me?”
    He lifts his head and looks straight at me. “ You need me.”
    I open my mouth, then shut it again, not able to find words to snap back.
    A smile peeks out the side of his mouth, and he looks satisfied. “You’ll see.” He closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall again.
    I sit there and watch him fall asleep, trying to still the rattling in my head—he’s going to make me crazy, all this jumble of thoughts and feelings is going to turn me mad.
    I realize I’m not afraid of him. Maybe I never was. His masculine ways are alien and his hands still make me shake. But he never tries to touch me, anymore. Like he sees how it makes me feel. Like he knows I might break apart if he does. But...
    ...but, I think...
    ...I wish it was me he cared for.
    I do.
    God, help me.
    It’s a sting, sharp in my chest. I wish he’d sync with me instead of Becca. That he’d tell me jokes and try to make me smile.
     
    *
     
    “You feeling better?” I ask Becca one morning after Luke went out for the day.
    She nods and takes a bigger bite than normal from her bread. “I suddenly feel very hungry.”
    “Well, that’s a good sign. Maybe the bug’s left for good.”
    She looks at me—a funny look, like she’s not sure what to say. “No, Rose.”
    “No, what?” I laugh, I can’t help myself—her face is so strange.
    “I…I haven’t had my courses,” she says.
    I frown at her, the laughter gone. “Your courses?” This doesn’t sound like good news, but she’s not upset.
    “I think….” but she doesn’t finish.
    “Think what? What’s going on?” Then it comes to me. The thing Mamma said so long ago when the men first came, before she couldn’t say anything anymore. “You’re with child.” I hear the words leave my mouth and ice fills my veins.
    Oh, God. No.
    Wasn’t it enough that those men stole our innocence—that they’d oozed through our life for a year like poison? Now they’ve left behind a demon child.
    “What is it, Rose? Stop looking at me like that.” Fear laces her words.
    I clench my jaw and hiss through my teeth, “How could you?” I turn away—the hurt in her eyes is too much. It’s too heavy with everything else. But I’m not staying silent. “Couldn’t you have been more careful?”
    I lose hold of reality for a second. All I can see are their faces. Smirks and smells that pull my stomach up into my throat. Teeth gone yellow. Stale smoke and oil in their hair. And it’s like Hunt’s ghost rises from the floor of the room, his voice, thick with drink, his hands that grope, tear, take. His eyes dark as coal, looking hard at me, wanting revenge.
    He holds the ax in his hand, dripping red with blood.
    I try to blink him away and say frantically, “We have to get rid of it, Becca.” Even I’m a little afraid of the force in my voice. But I’m more afraid of Hunt, of him following after me, always there.
    I hear Becca’s breath catch behind me.
    “There are ways to be rid of it,” I say, when she doesn’t answer. It’ll be better for Becca. For me. It’ll be better if it just didn’t happen at all.
    We’ve got to get free of this curse.
    “How can you know such a thing?” she asks, sounding breathless.
    I turn from my vision back to Becca, and lift my chin, defying her to argue. “Mamma showed me the herbs I should use.” The blue, glass bottle, filled with poison. In case , she said. In case . She knew this would happen with Becca giving herself to them. She warned me after that first day with Hunt.