Willing Sacrifice Read Online Free PDF

he backed out of my way as I walked into the brighter light of the kitchen and pulled plates down from the cupboard.
    “You want some?” He asked as he opened the paper bag he was carrying.
    I nodded absently, my gaze returning to the corner I had seen Jack in. It worried me since he hadn’t shown himself to me before, only in dreams. His attacks while I was awake were always unseen. I fiddled absently with the medallion. Jack was growing stronger.
    “Do you like Chinese?” Gage pulled the Styrofoam container out and put it on the small section of counter I had for preparing food.
    “I have a car parked just on the main road.” He explained, scraping some of the Chinese food into a small pot on the cook top of the wood stove to reheat it. I watched his hands work and realized how much I missed being around them. How much I missed how they moved and how they smelled like the woods.
    I watched him and considered whether it would truly be so bad to have another person around. So much for being independent, I already had my new recruit cooking for me. He offered me a plate of fried rice and beef. I took it and tried to smile before perching my butt on the narrow sill of the window next to the stove.
    I took a breath to ask him a question but stopped… I didn’t know if he’d think I was crazy so I just stuffed my half open mouth with dry rice and went through the mechanics of chewing and swallowing.
    “What book are you reading?” I asked pointing my fork at the paperback on the couch.
    “ The Guardian , by John Saul,” He shoveled a heaping forkful of rice into his mouth and swallowed without chewing.
    “I like that book.” I played with the plate of rice and pretended to eat it. “Do you like it?”
    He nodded but didn’t say anything else except to point his fork at my plate, indicating that I eat. He didn’t talk much, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t like me or if it was because he was hiding something. Either way, who was I to judge?
    “Do you believe in ghosts?” I blurted out.
    His eyes shot up to look at me with the fork halfway to his open mouth. “What?”
    "Well, Jack told me before he died that we don't leave this earth, that we just sort of – remain here, stuck."
    He put his plate down and stood up straight with a totally serious expression on his face. "You weren't raised as a wolf, no matter how I tell you the story you won't understand."
    I shook my head, and chewed hard on my bottom lip. “Bad dreams.” I said as explanation.
    “What about your dreams?” He asked truly interested now.
    I shook my head again. “I just have nightmares about him dying, or sometimes he's alive and hiding from me. Or sometimes he attacks me.” I kept the part about Jack kicking my ass while I was awake to myself.
    “When did it start?” Gage crossed his thick arms over his chest and I watched as the muscles of his forearms strained with the movement. God I had it bad. The first wolf I lay eyes on since being tossed out of the pack and I wanted to dry hump his leg like an ill-behaved poodle in heat.
    I shrugged.
    “Do you want my help or not?” He asked in a no nonsense tone.
    I tried to regain my train of thought. “The dreams started the night he died.” I finally answered.
    “Do you think it might be trauma?”
    “Sometimes I think I’m just losing my mind.”
    He didn’t answer me at first; making me think he might agree. “We don't normally have to deal with grief on this level." He shook his head. "Give it a little longer before you get too worried, okay?"
    His look of pity triggered my defenses. "Why are you even here? Can't you see I'm broken?" Before he could speak I continued. "I've got nothing to give you here. I don't have a pack, or the strength to lead one. I just exist." I swiped at more tears and wondered when I would finally run out of them. He watched me with that same look of pity on his face and I didn't even have the energy to argue; I was pathetic. I was