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eyes were green now, so she couldn’t possibly recognize me.
    Lie!
    “I’m sure I would remember a pretty girl like you,” I flattered her.
    She blushed, which made her even more irresistible. I had to turn away from her quickly in order not to lose my composure. I inhaled deeply and counted to three in my mind before turning back to her.
    “You’ll fall asleep soon …” I stopped. She was already sleeping.
    I knew I had to move her upstairs again. In a few hours the lab mice in the cages in the next room would be woken by the timer I had set to simulate day and night for them. I didn’t want the noise to disturb her.
    I lifted her into my arms again and carried her upstairs, careful not to wake her. As before, I laid her into my bed. She still wore her red sweater and I decided she would sleep more comfortably without it. I carefully pulled it over her head. She wore a t-shirt underneath and I could instantly tell that she didn’t wear a bra. Her breasts looked firm and I could see her hard nipples press through her t-shirt. Seeing her like this excited me and I had to take all my strength shielding her body from my view, her body which I imagined to be beautiful.
    I decided I would keep the sheets unwashed when she was gone so I could smell her scent whenever I wanted to be reminded of her. As soon as she would realized I was keeping her in my home and this was not a hospital, she would demand to leave and I would have to let her go, if I was strong enough, if my human instincts won.
    I had no right to keep her with me even if I only had the best intentions. Right now, I wasn’t quite sure that my intentions were good. The thoughts going through my mind about the things I wanted from her were less than honorable. Virtually all of them involved her being naked in my arms.
    In my mind my two sides were at war, one telling me to release her and the other to take her. My good side wanted to take care of her, but I also wanted her to take my pain and loneliness away. I couldn’t expect this sacrifice from anybody.
    Once she found out what kind of monster I really was, she would be disgusted and frightened and I wasn’t sure in which order. Not that it mattered. Either one of those feelings would make her want to run.
    In the meantime I could dream. For the next few hours she was still mine and nobody could take that away from me. I would deal with everything else later. All I could do was watch her sleep.
    As I sat on the edge of the bed I could feel how she breathed evenly. Her long dark hair was spread over the pillow and one of her arms was stretched out to one side, the palm of her hand turned up.
    I wanted so much to stoke her, to let my fingers run up the inside of her arm and feel her soft skin. I wanted my lips to kiss her palm and her wrist, my tongue to taste her skin, my arms to hold her.
    But I knew it was wrong. I didn’t have her permission, and once she knew me she would never grant it.
    Take what you can get while she can’t put up a fight!
    It was my animal side talking. My human side was disgusted and won this battle. How many more battles it would win, I didn’t know.
    I sat by her side for hours watching her sleep, dreaming about the things that could be if only I was a normal man.
    Toward the morning I got up and walked to the bathroom. I switched on the lights and stared into the full-length mirror. My appearance was a little disheveled. I guessed some women would have said I had a rugged look about me. I had read somewhere it was in this year. At least all men who had been voted sexiest men alive in various magazines had this look: five o’clock shadow, wild hair, muscular build, tall.
    My five o’clock shadow was more like a two-day beard even though I had shaved only twenty-four hours ago. My unruly hair was a result of mostly cutting it myself. The muscular build and height was not of my own making. It was the result of my condition. Ever since my initial transformation I had noticed